June 19, 2002

• Some of my readers are, I know, fellow fibromyalgics.  They are the ones most likely to understand this blog, and I’ll try to make it clear enough for all to understand.  Most of us call this malady “fibro”, but an international symposium a year or two ago recommended that it be called ME/CFIDS:  myalgic encephalomyelitis / chronic fatigue immunodysfunction syndrome.  It’s a bitch;  in online forums it is often abbreviated DD: damned disease.  Pain is one symptom, and there is also the lovely symptom they call “sensorimotor deficit”:  nerves don’t quite transmit signals correctly all the time.  Some of our pet names for that are the Frankenstein Shuffle and “stumblin’ ‘n’ fumblin’”.

  
  

  Muscles load up with lactic acid even when we sit still.  The upside of that is that our muscles don’t atrophy with disuse like normal people’s do.  Believe me, if one happens to be the type who likes to try to find the upside in every misfortune, this disorder gives one the opportunity to try over and over again.  I’ve just skimmed the surface of the interesting manifestations of the DD.  Symptom lists often run to fifty or sixty items.  All this was just background, an introduction to the story of my trip to town today.

  
  

  I hadn’t been to town for two months.  And the last trip before that one was in February.  I’m in the minority among diagnosed fibromyalgics in that I’m unmedicated.  Most of us take pain meds, antidepressants and/or sleep meds.  I do take guaifenesin because some say it can reverse the worsening course of the disease, and it doesn’t seem to be toxic to me, but it doesn’t relieve any symptoms–it makes them worse periodically.  My kidney function is compromised and my liver has some damage from amphetamines and a couple of episodes of hepatitis, and I have several allergies to common pain meds, so I use mind-over-matter techniques to deal with the pain, and use brainwave-entraining sound if I need help sleeping.  Usually, I just don’t sleep very much.

  
  

  Three paragraphs into the story of my trip to town, and I’ve not said anything yet about the trip.  But those were things you need to know to get this journey into perspective.  I would not have gone today, but it was supposed to be an easy trip:  fifty miles to Wasilla to drop our old car Lassie (1984 AMC Eagle wagon) at the repair shop, pick up a rental car and a few groceries and then home again.  An added incentive was that my application for a handicapped parking permit was approved and I wouldn’t have to walk as far as before.   Lunch would be a little plus, as would a chance for Greyfox and me to spend some time together.  When the weather is good, his days consist of working, eating and sleeping.

  
  

  I started my day by getting a shower ready, before Greyfox was up.  “…a shower ready?” you might ask.  What’s to get ready about a shower?  First, I put the tea kettle on, then I get the plastic camp shower bag out of the stall and fill it partway with cold spring water from a big jug in the kitchen while the kettle heats.  When I have a full two gallons of warm water, I haul it back down the hallway and hang it in the shower stall.  This morning, that was the point at which I ran out of steam.  The long muscles in my thighs started to tremble and my knees threatened to buckle.  Some days are better than others.  This one wasn’t the worst, but I knew if I was to get there and back I’d need some help.  I took a capsule of herbal stimulants, a combo of ephedra, green tea and kola nut.  By the time I was clean and dry and Greyfox was dressed, I’d stopped trembling.

  
  

  Halfway to the big town, we stopped at the library in our little town.  I took back the copy of Anthropology Goes to War, which I had been sent by mistake, and again wrote down the request for Anthropology of War, the book I wanted.  Then  we made a stop at the Post Office to pick up some stock for Greyfox’s stand, and on to the Credit Union.  Coming out of the parking lot there, I was gazing out the window at nothing when Greyfox pointed and asked, “What’s that?”  Beside the road was a patch of brightly colored flowers, ‘way too brightly colored.  On closer inspection, they turned out to be dandelion seed puffs that someone had spray painted in an array of fluorescent colors.

  
  

  That was the highlight of the trip.  Highway construction caused a number of stops going and coming back.  There is no alternate route to avoid the construction, just this one highway all the way from Seward on the coast to Fairbanks in the interior, with lots of little dirt roads to nowhere branching off, but unless you want to fly or float on the river, no alternate route.

  
  

  In town, my lunch at Taco Bell included a bad-tasting quesadilla, bad as in gone bad.  I ate a bite and got my money back.  Within an hour or two, I was feeling ill, my vision was blurry, and my stimulants were wearing off.  But it was the last stop on the way out of town so I opted to minimize the toxicity and didn’t boost the stim load.

  
  

  We made it home.  Exhausted, I put the perishables away while the guys unloaded our purchases and loaded the stock for Greyfox’s stand into the rental car so he can work tomorrow.  I had to go out and solve a little problem they were having with the car’s interior lights staying on after they shut the doors.  My solution:  I advised them to wait, and sure enough, the lights went out in a moment.  The whole family has ADD, so it’s a wonder that even one of us ever noticed that in newer cars the dome lights have that delay feature.  New cars are something we have little experience with.

  
  

  I’m beat, whipped, bedraggled, stiff, sore, aching, and beyond exhaustion.  If I run true to my usual pattern, in about three days I’ll be back to what passes for normal with me.  I’m having to use delete and backspace a lot more than usual, but at least the upset from the accursed quesadilla has passed.  To show for my trip, I have chalked up a day well-spent with my sweetie and a few shared laughs.  There was a bag sale at a thrift shop, and I stuffed a grocery sack with something for everyone at a cost of just $5.00, plus I found two collectible buttons, the pin-on kind like campaign buttons, for ten cents each.  And I have the enduring memory of a roadside patch of whimsical fluorescent dandelion puffs.  The best part is, I probably won’t have to go to town again for at least a month or two.

  
  

  Good night, all.

  
  

  Hey!  I’m Blossom…  never seen her; anyone wanna tell me what she’s like?… er…what I’m like.

  
  
  Commander and leader of the Power Puff Girls.
  Take the Cartoon Hero Quiz?.

  • 12:08 am
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