Month: January 2006

  • Farewell, Col. Vaughan.

    During the weeks my computer was down, I had as many ideas for blogs as
    I usually do in a comparable period of time.  In other words, I
    had more ideas than there is time to blog them all out.  I took
    notes.  Most of those notes don’t, now on reflection, deserve to
    be expanded and recorded here.  One exception is the death, on
    December 23, 2005, of one of my heroes.


    Colonel
    Norman Vaughan was in hospital for heart surgery when he celebrated his
    100th birthday a few days before his death.  The irony of that is
    that he had planned to climb the Antarctic mountain named for him on
    that birthday.  But I don’t think the colonel would have been too
    terribly disappointed over missing that expedition.  He was a man
    who always appeared to take failure in stride.  “Dream big and
    dare to fail,” was his motto.

    Out of thirteen tries at the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, beginning
    when he was 72, he finished six times, the last finish being in 1990 at
    the age of 84, but he kept trying even then.  In 1997, he
    organized the annual 868-mile Serum Run from Nenana to Nome, to
    commemorate the 1925 relay run by village dog teams, carrying
    diphtheria serum to save the children of Nome.

    Teddy
    Roosevelt was president when Col. Vaughan was born.  He grew up on
    stories about explorers and adventurers such as Robert Peary, Roald
    Amundsen, and Sir Robert Falcon Scott.  In 1925, he dropped out of
    Harvard to join Sir Wilfred Grenfell in Newfoundland, taking medical
    supplies to remote villages by dogsled.  After that, he went back
    to school, but dropped out a few years later when a news headline
    caught his eye:  “Byrd to the South Pole.”

    He was the chief dog driver for Admiral Byrd’s Antarctic expedition of
    1928-30.  They drove dog teams 1,500 miles, carrying tons of
    supplies to the base camp for Byrd’s polar trek, collecting geological
    samples and scientific data.  The expedition established the first
    settlement on Antarctica and made the first airplane flight over the
    South Pole.  He was the last surviving member of that expedition.

    In
    1930, Admiral Byrd named a 10,300-foot peak in Antarctica for him in
    honor of his work with the expedition’s dogs.  After that, one of
    his dreams was to climb his mountain.  He reached the peak on
    December 16, 1994, three days before his 89th birthday.  Then he
    began preparing for a second climb on his hundredth birthday.

    Col. Vaughan served in the Korean war.   His military service
    introduced him to Alaska and he began visiting here
    frequently.   In 1967, he rode a snowmobile 5,000 miles from
    Alaska to Boston.

    He participated in the 1932 Winter Olympic Games in Lake Placid, New
    York, in sled dog sprint racing demonstrations.  One dream
    unrealized in his lifetime was to see mushing become an Olympic
    event.  In 1942, he mushed solo across the Greenland ice sheet to
    recover a top-secret Norden bomb-sight from a crashed WWII bomber.

    When he was 68 years old, after the failure of a business venture and
    the collapse of his marriage, he moved to Alaska “for adventure and
    dogs.”  The Colonel and I arrived in Alaska about the same time
    that time, and both of us arrived here broke.  To get his start
    here, he shoveled snow from sidewalks for board and room, and then he
    worked as a janitor.  I’ve also heard that he washed dishes for a
    while.

    He started building a dog team.  He had the chutzpah to claim he
    was the dog-driving champion of the Pentagon, and became the first
    non-Alaskan to compete in the North American Sled Dog Championship
    races at Anchorage’s Fur Rendezvous.  When Pope John Paul II
    visited Alaska, Col. Vaughan taught him how to mush dogs.  He
    boldly crashed President Carter’s inaugural parade, and earned himself
    a place in the next two presidential inaugurals.  The stories
    about Col. Vaughan are numerous and varied.

    I
    think it was some time in the 1980s when he fell in love with a young
    female dog handler, Carolyn Muegge, who had been helping him train his
    dogs and run them in the Iditarod.  I recall a great deal of
    gossip about them around the lodge.  Those who only knew the
    public Colonel and assumed him to have a lot of money were sure that
    this was what Carolyn was after.  They predicted that the match
    wouldn’t last.

    They married and lived in a one-room cabin five miles off the
    snow-plowed road system, accessible only by dogsled or snowmachine, or
    by ATV in summer.  Carolyn was with him when he summited Mount
    Vaughan in Antarctica, and when he celebrated his hundredth birthday in
    the hospital in Anchorage.

    Until that birthday party, the only taste of alcohol he had ever had
    was wine at his confirmation.  He promised his mother that he
    wouldn’t drink until he was a hundred.  His plan was to toast his
    hundredth birthday with champagne at the top of Mount Vaughan. 
    The champagne toast was held, instead, in the hospital in Anchorage.

    I met him once.  It was the mid-1980s, so he was about eighty
    years old.  He was still clean-shaven then.  Maybe it was
    Carolyn who convinced him to let the beard grow.  Anyway, I had
    been in the sauna out behind the old Sheep Creek Lodge, before it
    burned down.  I came around the corner of the sprawling low-slung
    log cabin, and standing there in the flower bed was this man.

    He was bent over so that the cord of his electric shaver would reach
    the outlet on the lodge’s front wall that usually served in winter to
    power engine-block heaters for trucks.  Bemused, I stood there and
    watched the guy shave.  He finished, straightened up and noticed
    me standing there.  He gave that engaging grin that is there in
    just about every photo ever taken of him, and muttered something about
    the necessity of good grooming.  Then he wound the cord around the
    shaver, shoved it in his pocket, and opened the door for me like the
    gentleman he always was.

    “If you don’t look for challenges, you become a follower,” Vaughan
    said.  “Challenges are self-satisfying for a person, testing
    himself on whether he can do it or not, analyzing for himself his
    character. Many times it answers a great question for the person.”

    “I have failed a lot of times — but when I fail, I try to come back and get a better way of doing the same thing.”

  • back online (at home)

    [first
    three photos:  above, the southern sky along the highway at the
    spring;  on right, Doug is using the Mutt to cut steps in the
    slick slope down to the spring; below on left, I wanted a shot of the
    trees on the snowy hillside over the spring and crouched for an angle
    that would include the full height of the trees.  I slipped, fell
    on my butt, then rolled back flat because that was the angle I'd
    wanted.  Some traffic went by, and Doug said, "Now there are some
    people who don't even know you who think that you're weird." 
    Yeah, and those who do know me know it for certain.]

    I have been pushing myself pretty hard lately.  Just seeing those
    words on the page made me laugh ruefully.  This, from the woman
    who used to work two full-time jobs and still have the energy to dance,
    bicycle all over town or hike through the woods, and maintain a
    garden.  That activity, of course, was all during a period of
    remission and it has been over a decade since my last remission.

    Now, my body is happiest when I don’t ask much of it.  Between
    Christmas and New Years, I did a water run one day, broke my glasses,
    and when I called around to find the best price for new glasses,
    learned that I could save $50 by getting them before the end of the
    year.  Consequently, I went to town the next day after that
    difficult
    water run.  The usual pattern is that the more exertion I do
    between rests, the longer it takes to recover.  I bumbled and
    fumbled around here for more than a week after those two busy days.

    Then, when the computer was repaired and the new glasses were in, I
    went to town again, made the physically demanding rounds of shopping,
    and rewarded myself with an AA meeting where I got my little bronze
    medallion as reward for thirteen sober years.  I don’t get to AA
    very often, being more at home with NA, but when I go there is always
    the warmth and inspiration of seeing my brothers and sisters
    (especially important to me, I think, since I’m an only child) and
    basking in that highly spiritual ambience.

    [Following
    photos:  on right, when I stopped at the Willow Public Library to
    blog from their computer on Saturday, two men were harnessing a numerous,
    Iditarod-sized, dog team to a sled for a training run on the trail around Willow Lake.  The dogs had been transported
    there in the usual "boxes" on the backs of two pickups, plus an apartment block of dog stowage on a little trailer
    behind one of the trucks.  I didn't recognize either man and
    wouldn't interrupt them to make small talk.  I just snapped a few
    shots for you.  This is the best of them.  I wish I could
    supply the sound, too.  The dogs were yipping and howling with
    enthusiasm and impatience for the run. 


    Below left and right,
    ilsurvive 
    had asked for pics of Felony Flats.  Greyfox's cabin is in the
    left photo, tucked back between the big cabin on the left and the
    teensy one (where he lived for a few months at first) on the right,
    with his red Mazda and my silver Streak Subaru parked in front. 
    The photo below it on the right is the row of cabins to the west of
    his, with Xmas lights on one and sunset light reflecting from windows
    of another.  The last shot of that series shows the sunset over
    the row of businesses across the highway from Felony Flats.]

    Alas, the computer wasn’t actually fully functional.  They put in
    a new motherboard and the sound card that came with it.  The sound
    card was defective, and so was the tech who neglected to test it before
    declaring his work to be done.  Also, the modem which had been
    functioning before they got their hands on it wasn’t working any longer
    when I got it back.  The next day, Saturday, I took the computer
    back and they made things right.  They gave me a “new” modem (I’d
    say it’s probably a used one out of some other comp they’ve worked
    on.  Their shop specializes in used parts.) and a new sound card,
    paid me $5.00 for the sound card they’d taken off the old motherboard
    and $25.00 as a discount/refund because of the defective sound
    card. 

    That just about covered my gasoline expenses. 
    Nothing but time and rest will correct the physical effects of the two
    days in a row of unaccustomed activity, but the Saturday night NA
    meeting was an even better high than the Friday AA meeting, so I have
    no complaints.

    Yesterday, I saved all the photos I’d taken while the comp was
    down.  I would have uploaded them and written a blog saying
    essentially the same things I’m saying here, but I just wasn’t up to it
    after doing some editing for Greyfox and being the doorman for the dog
    and cats all day.

    Last night I was determined to get some
    sleep.  I spent eleven hours in bed, and slept maybe six or seven
    hours all together, in numerous short bursts.  I know I dreamed,
    but don’t recall the dreams now.  I still  have the
    respiratory crud that Greyfox mentioned here when he left the message
    that I was offline due to hardware problems.

    [Following
    photos:  Sunday morning, January 8, 2006, around my neighborhood, beneath
    a heavy overcast, the low-angle winter sun was illuminating
    hoar-frosted trees.  The temperature was relatively warm, in the
    teens above zero Fahrenheit.  As soon as I noticed the light, I
    slipped into my boots and went out in pajamas, no gloves, hat or coat,
    to catch it.]


  • what all little boys love

    eneventure is hosting this week’s photo_challenge.  Her subject is:  Creatures that all little boys love.

    I regret having missed last week’s challenge on “light and shadow”
    because I have no shortage of such shots.  I’m kinda glad the
    computer was down and I missed the one before that, “glamour”.  I
    can see myself running all over the place in the frigid weather seeking
    glamour, a commodity fairly hard to find around here.

    My first thought for this week’s challenge was kittens.  When my (no-longer-a) boy was little, he loved kittens.

    Then I realized that many boys prefer dogs.

    I can’t claim credit for this pic.  The aforementioned big little boy took it.

    Upon further reflection, I recalled that “all little boys” have a
    nasty reputation for a fondness toward frogs.  The frog here may
    be a bit hard to spot.  It is a tiny Arctic wood frog, no larger
    than a thumbnail.

    As a further indication of scale, for those familiar with the
    minuscule leaves of chickweed, that is what the green leaves there
    are.  The frog’s head, if you don’t see it yet, is at the upper
    edge of the yellowed leaf.

  • Subject: subspace, subtext, and possibly subthig else as well

    I intend to take the full allotted hour here at the Willow Public Library’s comp, and as much over as I can manage before the librarian catches me and tosses me out.  It has been too long.  I’m blogstipated again.  Last night at home on our newly “repaired” old comp with its brand new motherboard, I composed a longer-than-usual blog in Notepad for posting later.  The *&^%$ machine would not recognize that it had a modem, and it insisted that every audio output device (headphones, speakers) was a microphone (“audio in”). 


    When I talked to the tech this morning, he said, “That sounds like a device driver problem.”  **sigh**  “We do that sometimes.  Just turn right around and bring it back in.”  Yeah, right.  …right back down the icy road half the length of the Susitna Valley, through the moose and, DV, past all of them.


    I’m reading back through comments left in my absence.  FYI, Glori, we have NEVER “ignored an invoice” or been late paying our bills.  Usually, I pay for services at the time I receive them, as requested.  If I can’t pay, I don’t go.  That’s the way my parents programmed me.


    However, we do qualify for the maximum subsidy on their sliding fee scale, so maybe it’s because the paperwork for reimbursement from the government is more troublesome than insurance paperwork that makes them “discriminate” against us.  I have never thought of it as discrimination, and I think Greyfox’s perception is colored by paranoia and narcissistic personality disorder.


    ilsurvive wants to see pics of Felony Flats.  Okaaay, I’ll just go check my photo files, to find the date I uploaded them.  BRB….  There!  That wasn’t hard at all, thanx to my having figured out how to do it.  First I look to see when the pics were uploaded, then I go to the calendar and jump to that date, scroll down, right-click the time stamp, copy the url and paste it here.  I don’t have any winter photos to show how it looks now, but I do have my camera in the car and I’m on my way down there.  Unless I forget, I’ll have some to post after they refix the benighted computer.  Meanwhile, imagine massive amounts of ice and snow and a couple of years worth of dilapidation and decay.


    Barney noticed that our comp seems to be sick a lot.  The old one was.  It went through a succession of hard drives until we despaired and started trying to figure out how to replace the whole system.  Then we received the gift of this “new” machine, pieced together from salvaged parts.  It was damaged in shipment from California to Alaska, the USPS paid off on the insurance and the local techs at a shop in Wasilla put it all back together in a new case using the salvaged parts and a few new replacements where necessary.  The motherboard which failed this time had been one of the original old salvaged parts that went through the battering in the mail.  That it survived that and still functioned was semi-miraculous.  That I have a computer at all, given my lifestyle and our economic challenges, is even more miraculous and due entirely to the kindness of the Xangans who support me.  In case you never noticed the business license posted at the bottom of my pages here and on KaiOaty, this IS my primary place of business and practically my sole source of income besides the generous support that Greyfox gives me for some unfathomable reason.


    The following comment provides the perfect segue into my subspacey, subtextual subject for today.  Be warned, I’ve used almost all my duly allotted hour and may get booted out of here before I can finish, but if that happens, as the foreign-born gov of my native state has said, I’ll be back.




    I understand your computer took a dump.  :::sighs:::


    It’s gonna give you a chance to play video games, work on little projects, and rest.  I think.
    Perhaps it’s a gift in disguise, or perhaps you can tell me to eff off too . . . either way, I’m loving you.
    When you read this, it WILL be belated. 
    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year - – Oh Anam Cara!      JadedFey


    I actually have been playing, but not games, just ONE video game, Disgaea.  Doug derides and ridicules the OCD that keeps me playing the same game over and over instead of taking on new and different challenges all the time.  I’ve been stopped (in terms of the games “story line”, just short of the final boss fight, for many months and hundreds of hours on the game clock.  I think it was over a year ago that I noticed I’d gone past the 999 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds where the clock finally stopped. 


    Doug’s derision and ridicule don’t bother me.  I’m enjoying myself, taking it easy, completing my mission to provide my demon horde with all the very best Legendary weapons and armor and level them up in the process.  I have two thieves who are above level four thousand and probably a dozen or two characters I use a lot who are above level two thousand, and the bottom of my roster, a gaggle of clerics and monsters who just can’t keep up, are all above level 245 now, with the puniest of them having over 30,000 HP.  Each of the hundred-and-some members of my little horde is equipped with a matched set of Legendary equipment, the enhancement of which provides the mini-game activity with which I spend my hours on the PS2.  To Doug it is nuts, but to me it is easier and thus more fun (while still providing some challenge and variety) than learning a whole new game. 


    But all that is beside the point.  I was heading toward that, “gift in disguise,” idea.  It is a gift and I have penetrated its disguise to some extent, and now must only wait to see what the ultimate outcome is.  It’s all part of a “subspace” plot to further my evolution or facilitate my completion of the Plan or take me through the next step on the path or the currently pending leap into the Void, or whatever…


    Last summer, around the same time the comp was out we also had a series of weird electrical problems in the house.  All the outlets in the front room went dead.  We worked around it using heavy-duty extension cords snaking through from the back of the trailer.  Subsequently, some but not all of those outlets came back to life, including the one into which the computer had been plugged.  I rearranged some of the extension cords and went on in a state of  low-grade anxiety about faulty wiring and all.  Because of the inconvenience of switching wires around, crawling under and behind furniture, we left the computer plugged into the extension cord that’s plugged in under the desk in Doug’s bedroom.


    Then, in September I got onto the 1111Angels board and picked up a few pieces of info about my old friends the Midwayers.  One little datum is this:  they are electrical beings.  Courtney Brown refers to them as “subspace” beings.  Several threads on the Angels board have dealt with anecdotes involving the way they affect the appliances and devices with which we live.  The penny dropped for me and I asked my old friends the Midwayers (who, along with various angels, elementals, minor deities, Higher Powers and shamanic power animals, are generally simply called “The Guys” or my Guides) if they were responsible for the mysterious electrical glitches.  They confirmed my surmise.


    So last week, after the comp went down, when all the wall outlets in the bathroom and the back bedroom, as well as the built-in light fixtures in that bedroom went dead, I asked them immediately if they’d done it.  They said they had.  I asked them if they were just toying with me.  No.  They have a higher or deeper purpose which I’m apparently too dense to perceive.  When I asked if they would fix it, they assured me they would but they wouldn’t say when.  This morning, the light in the bedroom was back on and the wall outlets in the bathroom were once again hot.  But the wall outlet behind the computer desk is dead again, so I’m glad we left that big green extension cord strung out from Doug’s room.


    That’s the short version of the subspace stuff.  There is ever so much more, and I’ll probably bring it up again sometime.  Remind me to tell you about my experiences with some of the people who resent being told that their angels or faeries or dragons might actually all be the same sort of subspace critters.


    On my way into Willow today, I got to thinking about subtext.  Actually, I think about subtext just about every time I have a conversation with someone and frequently when I read blogs or magazine articles or listen to interviews and news stories on the radio.  It is more important to me than what is being said, because usually there is more information there, and virtually always more truth.


    Specifically, this time, I was thinking about the last two times Greyfox said to me, “I love you.”  He rarely says it, but he expresses his high regard, respect, and other warm feelings in many ways.  But I have detected a pattern in those overt professions of love.  Both recent occasions and some I can recall from farther back came after I  had said or done something foolish, clumsy or stupid.  In other words, his subtext implies that he “loves” me because I’m fallible.


    This explains so much.  I think I’m beginning to understand why he had consistently given me so much grief early on in our relationship when I’d been quick to offer my help or complete some arduous or tricky task such as replacing an empty propane tank with a full one or fixing some minor mechanical problem with a vehicle.  He used to complain that I thought he was incompetent.  His subtext there (since I know that I thought no such thing) was that my competence made him feel incompetent.  Now that I’m a total wreck, foggy-minded and fumble-fingered from myalgic encephalomyelitis and chronic fatigue, he loves me.  Is his affection worth the grief and trouble I’ve gone through to earn it?  I dunno.  I’ll get back to you on that one.


    Meanwhile, I’m outta here.  Later….