Month: October 2005

  • This Sugar Is No Sweetheart — updated

    Some people  …just  …shouldn’t  …drink.  I
    could make a strong case that there’s really nobody who should poison
    himself with alcohol, but for some of us it’s more obvious than for
    others.  Angelo Sugar is one of those guys.

    Last Thursday night, Angelo Sugar and his friend Justin Ignatius were
    playing cribbage and drinking homebrew from a five-gallon bucket at his
    home in Nunam Iqua, a village on the Yukon River in Western
    Alaska.  Now he’s in jail on $100,000 bond, facing 19 charges
    including three counts of attempted murder.

    Ignatius said, “We were
    all OK playing cards. Everybody was having a good time enjoying the
    moment, then everything just went
    haywire.”

    Angelo first beat his wife with a shotgun, apparently (and fortunately)
    damaging it in the process.  When he subsequently tried to shoot
    her with it, it wouldn’t fire.  She fled, carrying her one year
    old child.  As she was leaving, she saw him hit his friend Justin in the head with another firearm.  Ignatius said he
    doesn’t remember getting hit: “I blacked out playing cards and the next
    thing I noticed I was waking up in the morning and my pillow was really
    bloody,”

    Sugar then barricaded himself in the home with four children, troopers said.

    At one point, Sugar grabbed his 1-month-old
    son out of the arms of the 13-year-old girl, and threw the infant to
    the floor, [Trooper] Widmier said. The girl told troopers the baby landed in a
    puddle of home-brew that had spilled from a five-gallon bucket, he
    said.

    As the girl grabbed the baby, Sugar punched her and choked her, Widmier said.

    “He had his hands around her so hard that she was blacking in and out.”

    He raped her on a bed with the infant crying
    beside her, Widmier said. Afterward, he rolled on top of the infant,
    Widmier said. The girl pushed him aside to pull the baby to safety.

    The girl’s 5-year-old brother and 7-year-old cousin watched the rape, Widmier said.

    The children told troopers Sugar then pointed
    the shotgun at himself and told the 13-year-old to pull the trigger,
    Widmier and Wilkinson said. She refused.

    Sugar then fired himself, “missing the girl by inches,” Widmier said.

    Village residents called troopers in Bethel
    about 5:30 a.m. Friday. Troopers had to charter a plane to get to the
    village because the state aircraft they normally use was being
    serviced, Widmier said.

    Many remote Alaskan villages have their
    own Village Public Safety Officers, but Nunam Iqua ran out of funds to
    pay their policeman over a year ago.  It took the State Troopers
    four hours to reach the village.  By the time they got there
    Angelo Sugar had accumulated quite a list of legal infractions. 
    He is charged with three counts of first-degree attempted murder, first-degree sexual
    assault, first-degree sexual abuse of a minor, kidnapping, two counts
    of second-degree assault, one count of third-degree assault, three
    counts of fourth-degree assault, fourth-degree misconduct involving
    weapons, three counts of reckless endangerment, manufacturing alcohol,
    furnishing alcohol to a minor in a dry community and possession of
    alcohol in a dry community.

    Alaska has a “local option” policy, and the native villages differ in
    how the alcohol issue is handled in each one.  Some, like Nunam
    Iqua, are “dry,” no alcohol allowed.  Others are “damp,” with
    alcohol regulated by Federal Indian statutes.  Bootlegging and
    homebrewing are common, and I have heard stories of “case parties” of
    legendary proportions when someone does smuggle a quantity of booze
    into a dry village. 

    Nunam Iqua’s mayor and many of the tribal elders were in Fairbanks last
    week for a conference of the Alaska Federation of Natives.  They
    returned to find a village in shock and outrage.  Some villagers
    there want to be assured that Angelo Sugar will never come back. 
    My thinking is they might be better served by raising the funds for
    some enforcement of their liquor laws, and to have a VPSO on hand for
    the inevitable incidents when the illegal drinking gets out of hand.

    UPDATE:

    This hypothesis is, of course, a possibility:

    I suspect that the man was psychotic before he began drinking.
    Posted by HappyHeathen

    But I’d tend to think, given the locale and circumstances, that it’s not bloody likely.

    Early European invaders explorers and settlers observed
    how alcohol had extraordinary effects on Native Americans. 
    Basically, it was concluded that redskins just couldn’t handle
    firewater.  After the passage of a few centuries during which some
    white men got the Indians drunk on purpose to take advantage of them
    and others tried to deal with drunken Natives through the criminal
    justice and public health systems, geneticists discovered the reason
    for our extraordinary reactions to alcohol.  Yeah, I don’t look
    like a Native American on the surface, but I do have the bone
    structure, and under this red hair and these freckles I carry the same
    gene as most Asians and Native Americans that keeps us from
    metabolizing alcohol in the way that most Europeans do.

    We are missing a liver enzyme called “alcohol dehydrogenase.”  In
    our bodies, alcohol metabolizes into acetaldehyde and stays in that
    form.  It causes skin flushing and tingling, eats away at our
    stomachs and guts, and induces feelings of dysphoria.  A
    sufficient amount of alcohol doesn’t just destroy our higher brain
    functions and release inhibitions as it does for everyone, even those
    whose bodies do produce alcohol dehydrogenase.  It also causes
    nausea, pain and rage.

    This genetic peculiarity does nothing to prevent alcohol
    addiction.  Just like everyone else, prolonged consumption of
    alcohol depletes our dihomo gamma linolenic acid (DGLA, an essential
    fatty acid) so that our bodies eventually cannot produce the
    prostaglandin E1 (PGE1, a substance which promotes a feeling of
    well-being) which is our main payoff for drinking the poison in the
    first place. 

    When any body:  human, simian or lab rodent, reaches that state,
    it keeps craving and swilling more and more alcohol in the quest for
    that elusive PGE1.   Any drunk is pathetic and most, due to
    the relaxation of inhibitions and loss of judgement, are
    dangerous.  A drunk without alcohol dehyrogenase isn’t dangerous
    in only the usual ways, he or she has a big maddening burr under the
    saddle as well.

    Alaskan Native villagers who have elected to go “dry”, prohibiting
    alcohol within village boundaries, aren’t a bunch of moralistic prudes
    trying to keep people from having fun.  They are aware and
    concerned citizens trying to protect themselves from the plagues of
    alcohol-induced accidents, murders and suicides that have devastated
    their people since their first contacts with Europeans.

    In this particular case, I would suspect that if the man had been
    “psychotic” someone would have noticed and commented on it.  He
    had no reported history of mental illness as far as I could
    determine.  He was just another ordinary drunk.

  • Remembering Miss Rosa

    Almost
    fifty years ago in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Lee McCauley Parks refused
    to get up and give her seat on a bus to a white man.  The bus
    driver told her he was going to have her arrested, and she told him to
    go right on ahead and do that. 

    A cop who admitted he didn’t know what law made that act illegal,
    arrested her.  Public outrage over the arrest led to a bus
    boycott, and less than a year after Ms. Parks’s arrest, the Supreme
    Court declared Montgomery’s segregation laws unconstitutional.

    In
    the myth that grew up around Rosa Parks, it was often said that she sat
    there because her feet hurt.  She herself said she was just tired
    of the way her people were treated and thought it was time for them to
    begin being treated as human beings.

    Rosa Parks, a lady of great dignity and quiet courage, died last night at the age of 92.

  • One more week to Halloween…

    I think I’m kinda nuts to even get excited about this holiday, but I
    do.  This year, I don’t plan to go anywhere, and probably won’t
    even bother to dress up on the off chance of getting any
    trick-or-treaters to scare.  It would be pretty easy to get
    scary.  There’s the Darth Maul mask that Greyfox salvaged from the
    dumpster at Felony Flats, and I have the plain black hooded thingie I
    bought for a buck at the thrift shop just in case Doug would need a
    passably mediaeval-looking costume for that SCA tourney we decided not
    to go to this summer.  I could get scary-looking with very little
    effort, but I’d be unlikely to scare anybody, even if some kids do show
    up.  As Doug just pointed out, I could go the door as a headless
    zombie, and most kids these days would just go, “Cool.”


    Jack of the Lantern, version 2002

    We have lived here since 1998, and only on two of those Halloweens did
    anyone stop by here for treats.  In the fifteen years that we
    lived across the highway at Elvenhurst, the years that we weren’t out
    doing our own treat-begging I only remember once that anyone came to
    the house on Halloween.  It makes sense, because in this
    neighborhood people aren’t densely packed.  We used to drive
    around for a few hours and stop at maybe twenty houses, dashing up to
    the door and shivering until someone tossed a treat out and shut the
    door quickly to keep in the heat.  Then we’d scurry back to the
    car to get warm on the way to the next house.  The Halloween that
    Greyfox and I got married in Winchester, Virginia, fifteen years ago,
    Doug dressed up as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and we walked him a
    couple of blocks around town before returning to our motel room. 
    He was astounded at all the candy he got in such a short walk.


    Jack of the Lantern, version 2003

    It was never that easy or comfortable here, even though I put a lot of
    thought and effort into designing warm costumes for Doug.  I think
    the best one I came up with was the robot costume, all duct tape and
    aluminum foil over a base of long johns, regular warm clothes, and a
    snow suit.  We’ve never had a Halloween here when the temp was
    above freezing, and usually it’s single digits, either below or above
    zero.  The coldest one I remember here was minus fifteen
    degrees.  I was single that year, and had no vehicle of my
    own.  Doug and I rode around with a neighbor in the early evening,
    then I dropped him with his dad for the night and hitchhiked to Sheep
    Creek Lodge for the costume party.  I wore my peach and gold
    brocade Byzantine SCA gown, heavily veiled, and walked home in it after
    everyone at the lodge got so drunk I’d rather walk 3 miles at minus
    fifteen than ride with them.


    Jack of the Lantern, version 2004

    I won’t be doing anything like that this year.  I don’t even know
    if I’ll carve a jack o’lantern; don’t know yet whether Greyfox will
    bring us a pumpkin later this week when he comes up the valley. 
    Doug wants me to have Greyfox bring a bag of candy in case we get
    trick-or-treaters.  Yeah, right.  He wants the candy for
    himself and we all know that.  I don’t want it in the house
    because I might get one of those stupid addictive self-destructive
    urges and eat some myself.  I was considering making cookies or
    something, but they’d have to be gluten-free and sugar-free to be safe
    for me, and it is doubtful that any normal kid would enjoy eating
    them.  Doug and Greyfox won’t eat the stuff I bake for my
    diet.  My mind is made up.  I will pop a big pot of popcorn,
    add butter, salt, and Splenda and put some in sandwich bags for
    contingencies, and then eat the rest guiltlessly.  If no kids stop
    in and Doug doesn’t eat the bagged popcorn, I’ll have some snacks for a
    while.  In fact, a little pot of popcorn wouldn’t be a bad idea
    right now.

  • Irony upon Irony

    Due to the link from Featured_Grownups, my repost on Friday, October 21, 2005, of the gang rape episode
    from my Hells Angels years got many more comments than I usually
    receive.  Ironically, relatively few of them were the kind I love
    best, the ones that cry out to be answered.  A few people even
    left comments to say that the post was so painful to read that they
    couldn’t stand to read it all the way through.  One of them (and
    this is REALLY IRONIC, considering the fact that his NPD renders him
    lacking in empathy) was my Old Fart,
    Greyfox.  The irony for them is that it was only the top part of
    the story that was harrowing.  Further along, I got to the
    inspirational part, with at least one ironic laugh thrown in along the
    way.

    There’s
    a bit of irony in the fact of my having chosen that story as
    my “Worst Experience Ever.”  I had some trouble initially deciding
    how to define “worst” there.  Those who have been attentively
    reading me for any significant time know that I’m transcending the
    dualistic fallacy, learning to avoid absolutistic concepts such as
    bad/worst or good/best.  I had to decide between telling about my
    most embarrasing moment (that would have to have been crawling
    bare-assed through the window the morning after the drunken date rape incident), my most emotionally painful experience (the stillbirth of my second son and dealing with the undertaker ), my “guiltiest secret” (killing my father),
    or the most ridiculously self-destructive situation I’ve ever gotten
    myself into.  That last one was a toss-up between my first
    marriage at age fourteen (a long story I’m still
    telling — links to available episodes can be found along the right hand side on my main page.) and the entire three years that I stayed as a Stockholm
    Syndrome captive of a pathetic and sadistic outlaw biker.

    Except for
    my photograph of the geriatric Alaskan Hells Angel at left, 
    throwing darts at last year’s Spring Fling here in my neighborhood, and
    the Triker patch below, right, all the photos in this entry were stolen
    off the web and are only here to illustrate that there still are a few
    outlaw bikers around  Black and white art shots are the inspired
    work of  Doug Barber.  If he is half as beautiful as his work, …please, somebody, hold me back, ’cause the guy is obviously dangerous.

     The Hells Angels won.  It didn’t seem appropriate to post
    the whole ten episodes, so I just picked the outstandingly horrible
    rape segment to post.  Then, upon reflection, after I posted it
    and read some of the other Featured_Grownups
    posts, I thought of a few more experiences that would, in one way or
    another, qualify as a “worst,” including a completely avoidable car
    wreck on Doug’s sixth birthday, which I had foreseen in a dream.

    Here’s another irony:  I had been avoiding going back to revise the old
    memoirs to put in some additional details and correct a few facts as
    memories surfaced, such as the name of the bike club we started in
    Oregon.  My reasoning had been that it was more important to continue
    writing memoirs of times not yet covered.  But I was stuck on that
    front, or both of those
    fronts since the narrative has two ends as it now stands:  the
    mid-fifties and the mid-seventies.  Yesterday, I revised over half of
    the biker episodes, and have caught a new wave of enthusiasm for
    telling more stories.  Inspiration is such an odd and ineffable thing.

    Miashineon wrote:

    …I
    have not done the work you speak of in your post.  It was attempted and
    backfired.  I actually left a session and drove the wrong way down a one
    way street. This was out in Tuscon.  It scared the heck out of me. A cop
    stopped me before i hurt anyone. I never had the courage to try it
    again. I told the therapist that if my mind wanted to wall something
    off it was fine by me. She drew me a picture,a schematic about how much
    of your self walling off your past can cost you…but i was more
    interested in being functional.

    I
    have to agree with Mia on that.  One of the things that Greyfox
    and I have learned about traumatic dissociation through our shamanic
    work, is that it is always pointless and often counter-productive to
    bring back awareness of things one is not ready to process and
    transcend.  People vary in their traumatic response to
    events.  Simple criticism or rejection can be as wounding to some
    of us as torture is to others.  Therapists, and shamans, need to
    be very sensitive to their clients’ idiosyncracies before trying to
    “help”.

    On the other hand…

    Reading this is like reliving my past trauma…
    which is very similar, except for the gang part, and the bikers, but
    the torture and sadistic mind games are very familiar. And what helped
    me was exactly what you did, gettting it down in front of me to read,
    experience it not as a vivid memory, but as a healing process to
    understand what really happened, and who’s fault it is. My family is
    very screwed, and understanding much of my family history, and their
    sexual issues, helps me understand why some of them took it out on me,
    and how to heal my mind and emotions.

    Although I will admit I still have resounding issues with men,
    relationships, and trust issues, that I am not sure how to battle
    through… I suppose with time comes wisdom, or I really have to work
    on my issues, which seems too painful at times to even face. Feeling
    like it’s ok to blame someone or something else doesn’t seem solid
    enough to me… which is a problem to deal with all in itself.
    ~Megs
    Posted by BiblesEatBabies

    Yeah,
    once you start the process, the only way to maintain your self-esteem
    is to continue the healing with forgiveness and love.  One
    suggestion:  don’t try to “battle through” the obstacles that come
    up on the road to healing.  Take the intellectual and moral high
    road and get over them.  Fighting this crap is fighting yourself,
    and that is the same as going under.  If we don’t get over our
    pain, we will go under it.

    MyKi_Whatzerface wrote:

    I certainly hope things have changed… I just
    saw a contingent of bikers riding for charity last weekend and had a
    chance to chat w/ a couple female riders (mamas?) in the ladies room of
    a restaurant near where the ride took place.

    had I read your account first, I’m sure i would have regarded them
    through different eyes– or at least wondered if they were wearing a
    property patch or something…

    Never was there a time when all “bikers” were outlaws.  The
    “One-Percenter” title of which Hells Angels and their affiliated clubs
    are so proud, came from a newspaper article that decried how the “evil
    one percent” of motorcycle riders were giving them all a bad
    name.  In some parts of the outlaw biker world, things have gotten
    rougher and more chaotic, with murders, disappearances, and open
    warfare between rival clubs.  Crack cocaine and meth have had a
    lot to do with that.  When I was in that scene the Northern
    California Hells Angels were selling amphetamines, but looked down on
    anyone who used them.

    “In both Canada, where the Angels have waged a
    four-year battle with the Rock Machine gang, and in Scandinavia, where
    the foe is the familiar Bandidos, the fighting has been murderous and
    highly destructive.

    In
    Quebec alone, police say, the war between the Angels and the Rock
    Machine has resulted in 102 killings and 118 attempted murders.

    In
    August, Canada’s Criminal Intelligence Service reported that the 249
    known member of the Hells Angels are responsible for extensive drug
    smuggling and frequent use of violence.

    ‘(They) remain a national priority for law enforcement in Canada,’ the agency said.

    In
    Denmark, Sweden and Norway, the two sides deployed rocket-propelled
    anti-tank grenades and AK-47 assault rifles in their battles.

    All told, the wars there have claimed scores of lives and left hundreds wounded, authorities say.”
    msnbc

    One of the most gratifying things for me about posting my biker story
    in 2002 was a series of emails I received from a woman whose sister had
    been ripped off for a mama by Gypsy Jokers in the Pacific
    Northwest.  She found my site through a Google search and wrote to
    me hoping I had seen or heard of her sister, but my association with
    bikers ended long before hers began.  In my turn I did some web
    searching, sent out a few emails and tried to hook the concerned sister
    up with reporters and cops who might help her.  I heard back from
    her a few months later.  She found her sister.  She was
    scarred, addicted and looked older than her years, but was alive and
    the family was glad to have reached her.  I keep hoping I’ll hear
    from them again.

    Biker gangs share these characteristics:

    • They show off their colours in public.
    • Biker gangs use force and violence to survive and grow. Intimidation, arms and explosives are their weapons of choice.
    • The organizations have a hierarchical structure. Committing
      crimes is left to new recruits while those higher up reap the rewards.
    • The hierarchical structure allows the leaders to operate
      with impunity while flaunting their image of power to attract recruits
      and draw them into crime.
    • It is difficult for law-enforcement agencies to infiltrate
      these organizations because becoming a member involves committing
      crimes.

    CBC News

    “HOLY CRAP!!!!!!
    …I understand
    about not taking things personally, I really do…..but the pain, and
    the effects on every other area of your life—every other interaction
    with EVERYONE… EVERYWHERE… do you feel it doesn’t have effects
    everywhere… do you feel healing is possible, and you are healed? Or
    do you feel more that you’ve incorporated these experiences into the
    person who is YOU?  I wonder because I’ve been thinking a lot about
    “overcoming” and have decided there is a big difference for ME
    personally in “overcoming” and “healing” —not sure healing will ever
    come, but overcoming (for me) is easier.”
     Posted by ilsurvive

    I’d probably need to talk to Jennifer/Jamie for a while to understand
    how “overcoming” differs from “healing” for her.  Semantics is a
    bitch.

    I agree with Nietzsche that whatever doesn’t destroy us strengthens
    us.  In that way, of course all the stupid and “unfortunate” shit
    I walked into in this shitstorm of a life of mine has made me one tough
    cookie, strong, durable and a whole lot wiser than when I began. 
    That’s one of those inescapable effects of my experiences.  For
    me, just surviving the trauma was “overcoming,” just getting through it
    to the point where I could go on with life without needing to be in
    denial about it or to soak myself in booze or dope to get through my
    days.  Healing is what happened when I forgave the assholes (and I
    must count myself among the assholes that got me into everything I’ve
    had to crawl out of) and let go of the injury and pain.

    pyramidtermite wrote:

    i’ve always wondered what goes through the minds of
    people like your rapist and his pals … do they really think that they
    can go through life being invunerable to anything that anyone might
    choose to do to them? … or are they just fronting their way through
    life, thinking that the best defence is a good offence? … or don’t
    they really think about it much at all?

    i wonder what they think
    about themselves now and the things they did … even if karma didn’t
    catch up to them … i’m not sure i’d want to be 50 or 60 something
    with the knowledge that i was a bad actor earlier in my life … i
    wonder if they ever look back and think, “what the hell was i doing?”

    but
    i guess some kind of degree of honesty would be necessary to even ask
    that question … as usual, i’ve got nothing but questions and no
    answers … but i’m glad you have the presence of spirit and knowledge
    to look at these experiences without getting frazzled or taking it out
    on yourself … or others.

    Their “invulnerability” (for most of the outlaws I knew) only came as a
    result of their banding together — “safety in numbers”, the bravado of
    the mob.   A few were truly courageous and outrageous even
    when on their own, but most of them kept to the pack because it made
    them feel big and tough.  Obviously, they had some neurotic need
    for that.

    Few
    of them were voluntarily forthcoming about their inner feelings, but I
    was around often enough at times when their inhibitions were loosened
    with drugs to learn a lot — and my access to their unguarded moments
    was increased by my often being in the garage or workshop doing
    mechanical work, where few other women ever ventured.  Many of
    them had mother-issues:  abandonment or abuse.  Some of them
    were tough-talking and would rag on women around their brothers but
    treated their women okay outside the group.  In general, I judged
    their excessive need to dominate women as being some form of
    compensatory behavior to offset their own feelings of inadequacy or
    inferiority.

    What they think about themselves now… who knows?.  Most of them
    were short on introspection to begin with and did the best they could
    through drugs and their outlaw ethos to stay ignorant of their own
    inner drives and motivations.  Few of the ones I knew over a
    quarter of a century ago are still alive and of those who are many are
    incarcerated.  I now live just a mile from the Alaska Hells Angels
    clubhouse.  Some of them have friends among some of my
    friends.  They are the security force (Karma Kontrol) at the
    Talkeetna Bluegrass Festival where I had a booth doing psychic readings
    for many years.  In other words, I see them socially
    sometimes.  They are mostly old guys, some growing frail and
    feeble.  Somehow, though, they still manage to maintain the
    illusion of their own superiority.  I suspect that staying loaded
    all the time makes that easier for them.

    (mostly for MyKi‘s
    information) The woman in Doug Barber’s shot of Greek Pete here is
    identified as “mama Angie,” but it’s hard to say for sure whether she
    is really the property of the club, because “biker mama” is a
    designation that doesn’t always mean what it meant in the 1960s.

    VaporousVenom asked:

    Do you still have the ‘property patch’.. you dont let anyone call you property now, do you?

    Oh, Hell no, on both of those.  The
    Oregon Black Ravens Property patches were retired when the Free Souls
    MC was formed.  I burned mine.

    Even the dog knows that I’m the alpha animal in this pack.  Twenty
    years or so ago, a windstorm at the Alaska State Fair blew a little
    wall-hanging thing to me and it still hangs in here.  It’s a
    willow-twig hoop with a piece of leather laced into it, that says,
    “Around this camp there is only one Chief.  The rest are all
    Indians.”  My ex-, Doug’s dad Charley, always said that he was the
    mule and I was the driver.  I learned a lot from my biker
    experience.

    I feel I must comment on this comment, even though I can’t find a way to do it in a constructive and loving manner:

    “Sometimes there is just not enough Hate and Death Magick on the World… 
    *wishes bad things on many (too) many bad and abandoned souls*”

    Posted DaemAeon

    BULLSHIT!  There’s plenty, way more than is healthy.  We don’t need yours added to all the rest.

    I have to stop somewhere, even though as I have been writing this more
    comments have been coming in that I could respond to.  Just one
    more and then I’ll quit and post this.

    Jamie/Jennifer (ilsurvive) came back for a second round:

    …I’d love to say that I’ve healed, but I see
    evidance that it isn’t the case all around me.  Pushing away, both
    physically and emotionally from those closest to me is my biggest area
    of trouble, and something I feel powerless to control.  I mean, as soon
    as I start thinking about, writing about, or dealing at all with trauma
    I subconsciously seem to start the pushing.  When I am in this state
    the slightest touch to my body–even something so simple as a touch on
    my shoulder causes me to flee, and I find myself constantly on guard,
    watching and making sure that nobody touches me.  Sounds crazy, eh? 
    It’s a big problem though, really and causes big problems in my
    relationships as I’m sure you could imagine.  A hug to me feels like I
    am being suffocated and sitting there and tolerating it is almost
    impossible.  Eeek!

    That you are a B-Mom also fascinated me.  I look forward to hearing
    more about that in the future.  I am so sorry about your oldest.  What
    happened?  And your youngest….do you and she keep in touch? 
    Hmmm…in SOME ways…ONLY in financial ways I’d say my life was more
    advantageous with my adoptive parents, also.  However, I think nothing
    is more advantageous than growing up with your true family
    (emotionally)…if that makes sense!?

    “Crazy,” isn’t the word I’d use for your
    aversion to being touched.  It is a normal response to abuse, just
    as “normal” as the way that many sexually-abused children develop
    seductive behaviors.  Being normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy, but
    you’ll have a better chance of transcending it if you will accept it as
    normal and let yourself off that “crazy” hook.  That you are aware
    of it is a healthy sign. 

    We are all different, so I can’t say what would work for you.  One
    of the big advantages I had was loving parents and a relatively
    non-abused childhood.  Even so, in my case self-healing of the
    guilt over “killing” my father and “abandoning” my kids, and the trauma
    that started with my first marriage in my teens, demanded a lot of
    courage and acceptance.  

    Group therapy and a shamanic “soul retrieval”  brought out the
    guilt that I had buried and denied.  I had to accept and forgive
    myself.   Hearing someone at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting say
    that, “holding resentment is like taking poison and hoping that the
    other guy dies,”  convinced me that I had to accept and forgive
    what had been done to me.  It was difficult, especially to forgive
    the fresh emotional wounds from the addict I’m married to, but I did it
    and everyone in our family has benefited from my having the guts to
    take that chance.

    If you want to read the story of how I lost my first three kids, scroll
    down past the video module on the right side of my main page, to the memoir links and start reading at “My
    story of the ’60s…”  My elder daughter died of heart failure at
    age 29, presumably from cocaine.  We had been reunited a few years
    before then and spent some loving time together. 

    My younger daughter found me, was initially fascinated with me and
    amazed at how alike we were, right down to our handwriting.  She
    is bipolar and erratic, and has pushed me away and pulled me back
    several times.  Some Xangans knew her as angiem, but on one of her
    withdrawals she shut down her blog.   She came back later as Mystic_22, and stopped updating that one after a while.  

    With the help of Google, I was able to find my elder son, the one I had
    allowed to be taken away from me.  I was blogging here at the time
    and documented the search and the telephone reunion.  I’ll have to
    search out those entries and post some links.  He says he doesn’t
    hold anything against me, but that doesn’t ring true.  He’s
    distant, doesn’t answer my emails, didn’t invite me to his wedding, etc.

    Jamie, you and I have both gained a similar view of the practice of
    adoption, but from opposite sides of it.  I have heard so many
    stories like yours, some of them from my own biological children, that
    I cringe at the thought of adoption… but the institutional solution,
    orphanages, foster homes, and workhouses for abandoned kids, is
    worse.  Let’s “talk” about this some more some time.

    To the women reading this:

    If you don’t find the men pictured here attractive, you’re not statistically
    normal.  Most women are attracted to “bad boy” types, to dangerous
    and violent men, even if they have the good sense to avoid involvement with them.  I think it is an atavistic instinct, a leftover
    from primitive times when it was advantageous to have a dangerous and
    violent protector.  In the more enlightened age that is coming, I
    think we can learn to appreciate other “strengths” in our men.  I
    hope they can all learn to cultivate other manifestations of their
    masculinity.


     

  • More than the usual measure of violence and grief:

    This is a newly revised repost of my outlaw biker episode #5, done for a Featured_Grownups challenge: My Worst Experience Ever.

    (The rest of the biker story is here:  #1 Hells Angels Mama, #2 ripped off, #3 my trike, #4 captive gourmet, #6 show bike, #7 ripping, running and gardening, #8 the best weekend, #9 a desperate break, #10 the needed help.  These have NOT been rewritten, and I’m sure some of them could benefit from it.  Later for that.)

    I have tried to present a balanced view of the time I rode
    with outlaw bikers, balanced in terms of the various things I
    experienced and perceived. Thus far, I think I’ve accurately related
    the way that the bikes themselves and our riding and mechanical work on
    them predominated, with partying coming in second. Alcohol and other
    drugs were ubiquitous, and violence erupted suddenly at times. The
    violent incidents stand out in my memory although the number of
    occasions and their duration were not great when compared to riding,
    wrenching (mechanical work, turning a wrench) and partying. This entry focuses on the violence. If graphic
    descriptions of violent acts disturb you, read no further.

    For me, one of the worst things about those biker years was the
    rapes.  Not just being raped, but being present when other women
    were raped.  For years afterward I ran and reran the mental tape
    loop of the
    night I was raped, and it still takes no effort to recall screams heard
    in the night and the sights and smells of a bunch of grody bikers
    gathered around a sleeping bag spread on the ground at a campsite on a
    Labor Day Run where some Hells Angels
    were “turning out” two teenage girls who had slipped past the police
    roadblocks, which were meant to protect the public from us, to party
    with us.  A couple of weeks after that, I was the one being turned out.

    Trouble started for me around midnight, right at the very beginning
    of my 23rd birthday, September 18, 1967. Almost out of the Air Force and an official member
    of the Vallejo Black Ravens, my husband “VW” was processing out of the military and preparing to
    move back home to the Willamette Valley in Oregon. Grace and his ol’lady Linda were
    going with us. Linda and I went ahead to Springfield, where a high
    school friend of VW’s and her roommate had a big enough house for Linda
    and me to stay with them while we looked for jobs and housing.

    In the Black Ravens, ol’ladies wore property patches. In most other
    clubs only mamas wear property patches. Ravens didn’t have a mama, and
    each ol’lady had the club name and her ol’ man’s name on the back of
    her cutoff levi jacket. We’d only been there a few days when one of the
    girls said a friend of hers whose ol’man rode with the Gypsy Jokers had
    seen them with us on the street, noticed the property patches and asked
    her about us: who we were and what we were doing there.

    That Saturday night, before my birthday on Sunday, our hostesses
    invited over a few of VW’s old friends for some beers, and the Gypsy
    Jokers crashed the party. There were five of them. They asked about our
    ol’men and their plans. They made themselves at home, drank and
    schmoozed. One of them, Cherokee, the chapter’s president, focused on seducing
    Linda, and another one homed in on me. His name I don’t remember, despite many efforts to call it to mind. It was
    one of those ubiquitous invidious epithets they stick on each other, an
    adjective, not a proper name. He, I learned later, was a former
    classmate of VW’s, too. Maybe his interest in me was something personal between him and my ol’ man.

    I kept pushing him away and telling him no. I got up and left the room. He got up and
    followed. He wrapped his arms around me, and I ducked
    out of his embrace. I moved away.  He followed and grabbed me again. I
    headed for the door and he caught me and pulled me back. We struggled,
    I got loose again and made it to the door.

    I pulled the door open, but before I could make it out the screen
    door, he grabbed the waistband of my jeans and pulled me inside. Before he
    could shut the door, I screamed as loudly as I could, “Help! Rape!”

    He put his hand over my mouth and I bit it. I was whacking him with
    my hands and elbows, head-butting, kneeing anything I could reach.  My
    martial arts training was still decades in the future, so I didn’t do
    much damage. I got out of his embrace again, but he was holding the
    back of my unzipped and slipping pants and as I pulled away, we both
    went down. On my knees on the floor with him holding onto my pants, I
    wriggled out of them.

    I ran out on the porch, where I could see lights in the house a few
    yards away, and people inside.  I yelled for someone to call the
    cops, saying clearly that I was being raped. The only thing that came
    of that
    yelling was that the two young women who lived there were evicted
    because instead of
    calling the cops, the neighbors called their landlord to complain about
    the noise.

    By the second time my attacker slammed the door shut, his biker bros
    had heard the ruckus and come to lend a hand. One of them stole my
    cutoff jacket with the property patch.  At some point along about
    this time, the party that the Jokers had crashed broke up or moved to
    someone else’s house.  I was alone in that house with Linda and
    the five Gypsy Jokers from that time on.

    First, my initial attacker raped me
    while the other four held me down. Cherokee, kneeling on my right arm
    and shoulder, was also holding a butterfly knife at my throat. He and
    the teenaged ol’ lady he had brought with him, who had quite evidently
    been through a similar experience
    herself and was eager to pass it along, were murmuring in my ear,
    making it clear that I could fight, strain my muscles, force them to
    hurt me and maybe end up dead; or I could relax, get into the act, have
    a good time, get laid better than ever before (his words, mind you,
    this is not my assessment of the event), and not get hurt.

    The rest of them took turns having their way with me.  Isn’t
    that a sweet way of putting it, “having their way?” They didn’t just
    fuck
    me. They fucked with my head, terrorized and humiliated me. They played
    mind games, well-thought-out and practiced brainwashing
    techniques.  The goal wasn’t sexual gratification as much as it
    was subjugation.  I
    was hip to some of their tricks, but not immune to them. When
    confronted with a
    choice between anal penetration with or without lubrication, I became
    more cooperative.

    The first one of them to attempt oral penetration got bitten, but
    not very hard. The knife was still at my throat. Cherokee was attentive
    and quick, and when I felt the blade pierce my skin and the blood start
    to drip, I went limp. Biting made them angry, and they took a little
    break from raping me to rough me up, slapping, twisting my joints and applying pressure in sensitive
    areas, a brief interlude of pure torture.  Once they were assured of my docility, they did me three at a time.
    I made it easy for them, to get it over with

     There was some discussion about what to do with me
    afterward.  Some were in favor of taking me as a club mama. 
    At least one suggested just making me “disappear”.  I don’t know
    if that was a serious suggestion or only said for effect. 
    Cherokee was the one with the authority, and his decision was to have
    me carry the message to the Hells Angels that One-Percenter clubs were
    not welcome in Oregon.

    When they were done and
    had gone, taking Linda with them, and the sun came up on my birthday, I
    went to a pay phone and
    called VW.  He told me to go wait at the Western Union office for
    a moneygram, then get on a bus.  The Jokers had taken all the
    money I had the night before.  I went back to Napa,
    to Tex and
    Mary’s place where VW, and Larry and Emily (another couple who wanted
    to come to Oregon with us) were staying.

    Larry Tannerhill was a big man, over six feet, muscular and
    well-proportioned, but always filthy in body and speech, and
    conspicuously missing some
    important parts of his personality.  At the time, he was wanted
    for kicking to death a bartender who had refused service to him and the
    pack of bikers who had stopped into his backroad bar on their way back
    to the Bay Area from a Wine Country run.  Emily was a speed freak
    who had
    been in a leg cast for two years because her bones wouldn’t knit. 
    Her nickname was “Fifty-Fifty” because she frequently and loudly
    demanded a share of the things (especially the money and drugs) she
    stole for her ol’ man and his bros.

    When word got around to the Angels that a One-Percenter’s ol’lady
    had been turned out by Cherokee’s Oregon chapter of the Gypsy Jokers,
    some Richmond, Oakland, and SF Angels volunteered to go north with the
    Ravens to get even. One priority was to get my property patch back so
    that it would not hang as a trophy on the wall of the Gypsy Jokers’
    clubhouse.  The patches showing the clubs’ colors are symbolic,
    like flags.   I had become a pawn in the territorial conflict. So
    had
    Linda.

    She had opted to go with Cherokee, who had
    seduced her with promises and threats, the old carrot and stick
    routine. At the time, he had three ol’ladies, all local teenage
    runaways. When the men were done with me that night, Cherokee took
    Linda
    home with him for a while and then gave her to an independent biker,
    one of
    the local boys who had gone to school with VW, whom Cherokee was
    courting to
    join the Jokers against the new club that the transplanted Black
    Ravens were planning to start. (That new club ended up being known as
    the Free
    Souls.)

    Grace and VW and their two best Black Ravens bros, and eight Angels
    including Tex and Larry, plus Emily and I, would all go to Springfield
    and make things right. We made the trek in a VW bug, the Richmond
    Angels’ “crash truck”, a pickup that trailed along on runs to retrieve
    the breakdowns, and Tex’s old green Chevy station wagon, because riding
    bikes would have drawn too much heat and the
    weather on the passes in northern California was blowing snow. Under a
    tarp in
    the bed of the truck were three bikes: VW’s old black panhead, Grace’s
    new Sportster, and one that belonged to an
    Angel who never went anwhere without his bike.

    Emily wisely chose to ride in the same vehicle with the only other
    woman, our bug. Larry would not dream of letting her ride without him.
    He was large, the bug’s back seat was cramped, and her leg cast made
    their part of the expedition painful and difficult. The pit stops along
    the way would have made amusing video. At a gas stop during the night,
    somewhere between Mt. Shasta and the state line, Larry could find only
    one way to get out of the back seat. He let his upper half fall out the
    driver’s door and dragged his legs out after it. Then he had to
    reach back in, grab Emily by her armpits, and pull her out.

    Nobody had a comfortable trip. Tool boxes, gear, weapons, and
    of course a cooler full of beer in the station wagon, made a tight fit in
    each of the three vehicles. The unlawful nature of our mission and the
    fugitive status of some of our party members, added to the tension. We,
    for once, did our best to avoid attracting attention.

    Nevertheless, we were pumped, stoked, well-armed and ready for
    whatever came next. The mood was serious, but far from glum. 
    Excited anticipation was the tone.  I
    started to feel relief when we hit the edge of Eugene and it seemed I’d
    be able to stretch and relax, but I soon learned it was too soon to let
    go. We woke up two households, asking questions about the whereabouts
    of Linda, and of Cherokee. At the second place we stopped, we learned
    that Cherokee lived only a few
    blocks from the house where I’d been raped, and that Linda wasn’t with
    him. We went for her first.

    She and the man to whom Cherokee had
    given her were in a tiny cabin in the woods miles from town. VW knew
    the place and the surrounding area well.  He led the way in our
    bug and the other two vehicles followed along.  We had no trouble
    finding the cabin.  We parked and got out of our vehicles without
    rousing anyone inside. Larry had a flashlight, the only light
    available. The rest of us
    followed him into the house.

    He kicked in the door, strode across the front room and into
    the bedroom. I saw him step up and over the brass foot rail of the bed
    as if it was a ladder. Then he stepped between the two forms under the
    covers, stood over them, shone his light in the man’s face and put the
    pistol he held in his other hand into the beam from the flashlight so there
    would be no mistaking the fact that he was armed. The only words anyone said
    were Larry’s, “Freeze, motherfucker!”

    Meanwhile, some other guys were rounding both sides of the bed.
    Linda was dragged from the bed naked and taken outside. I followed, and
    some of the rest of our party, including his old friend VW, stayed
    inside to talk to… let’s call him “Tom”.

    Linda was showing every sign of being happy to see us, or at least
    relieved and glad in some way that we had gotten there. I suppose
    everyone involved was expecting some reprisal and this had to be a
    climactic end to days of anxiety. Someone (it could have been me),
    asked about my property patch. She said it was inside, that she had
    taken it and hidden it while the Gypsy Jokers were busy raping me.
    Keeping it out of the enemy’s hands meant some big points in her favor.

    I don’t know what ratio of violence to diplomacy went on inside the
    house, but it wasn’t very long before everyone came out and Grace and
    Linda embraced. Tom seemed to be off the hook for his role in the
    affair, but Linda still had to answer for wimping out, selling out to
    Cherokee and letting me be turned out.  I was offered a few whacks
    at
    her and took them.  Then I  felt horrible about it,
    recognizing her as being as much a victim as I was.  I hugged her
    then, and gave her my shirt.
    With Linda bottomless and me topless, we returned to the house to pick
    up my property patch and her clothes.

    Linda’s ordeal had just begun. We all went to the home of one of
    VW’s friends in Eugene, one of the households we had awakened earlier. Linda was
    shut into one of the bedrooms and for the next three days she had sex
    with all comers.  Grace had agreed to that punishment for his ol’
    lady, and Linda didn’t put up a fight.  The first night, it was
    just those bikers who had come north with us.  At some point the
    next day, other men started arriving,
    singly and in small groups.

    I know that several times different contingents of men went out cruising through town in cars,
    looking for Gypsy Jokers. I don’t know how many they found or what
    happened if and when they did encounter the rival bikers. I never saw
    Cherokee again, and I remember hearing that he had moved to Portland.

    When someone in our party noticed that we were being watched from
    behind the drapes in the house across the street, our host said his
    neighbor there was a deputy sheriff. VW’s father was also a deputy
    sheriff, a member of the mounted posse who did mountain search and
    rescue work and rode their horses in parades. Through his efforts, we later got to
    see the file they had amassed on us during that stay. The telephoto
    shots were some of the best photographs ever taken of me.

    For the three days of Linda’s turnout, I was almost as much a
    prisoner there as she was. I did get to go out and buy takeout food for everyone,
    but most of my time was spent inside those walls, and some of it, when
    there were no men in her room, was spent in there with Linda. We had a
    lot in common there and then. We bonded, became close friends for as
    long as we lived near each other. For a while she and Grace and VW and
    I shared a house. It was a bad time for us. We were depressed together,
    feeling suicidal and scared, and unable to help ourselves or each
    other. Then, with time, and lots of euphoriants and amphetamines, the
    memories faded.

    This had not been the first time I’d been raped. My first husband
    had sold me to a friend of his who wouldn’t take my “no” for an answer,
    exactly seven years previously, on the night leading into my sixteenth
    birthday. This one had, however, been the first gang rape that I can
    recall (There might have been one during an alcohol blackout a few
    years previously; see the “date rape” blog)
    and this was certainly the first time I’d been systematically
    tortured by experts. Like the good little clone of Scarlett O’Hara that
    I always tried to be, I put it behind me. “Tomorrow is another day.”  I denied that there were any
    lasting effects.

    I’m not denying it any longer. Of lasting harm I don’t think
    there has been any, at least not at this late date. The harm did last
    for a while. Post-traumatic stress disorder from my earlier experiences
    was exacerbated by the rape. I’ve worked through that in therapy.
    “Worked through” is wonderful psych jargon for having gone over the
    experience, analyzed my feelings about it, told myself it wasn’t my
    fault and that not every man on the planet is a cruel low-life scumbag who
    can’t be trusted.

    Working through traumatic experiences does not heal the wounds from
    the trauma. It can be a start to healing. Healing won’t start without
    it. If it only serves to open wounds that had been closed by denial,
    then working through abuse won’t do any good. One has to take it beyond
    remembering, into forgiveness of self and others, to letting go of fear
    and resentment and, if all goes well, to understanding. I’m okay now.
    I’m over it.

    In doing this blog, the hard part wasn’t remembering the rape. I had
    never really forgotten it. The hard part was going public with it and
    deciding how much detail to write, not for my own sake, but to be fair
    to my readers. If I’ve shocked or offended you, maybe, just maybe, I
    went too far. Be assured that I have not exaggerated, but rather I have
    downplayed the emotions I was feeling at the time and left out much of
    the graphic detail in favor of a simple report of the events.

    Afterword:

    One of the comments this post received initially was this one from blankityblank:

    I do see that you’ve narrated this tale as
    coldly/numbly/neutrally as you could though… is that the only way you
    can stand rehashing it?  Or did you do all your crying over it long ago?

    This was my response:

    I have strong feelings about rape, but I don’t take it
    personal.  On the personal level, I’m as neutral about that rape as I
    am about other institutional madness.  Rape is an institution, a
    symptom of the illness of our culture and any culture where it is
    endemic.  It isn’t personal, though it is intensely intimate.  Those
    bikers would have done the same thing to any woman who gave them an
    excuse.  My property patch was all the excuse they needed, and it was
    forced onto me by a man who said (and believed) that he loved me. 
    Madness, all of it.

    I was angry and wounded in my soul for a few years after that rape,
    but you have to remember that it was the last of three rapes in seven
    years.  I had a lot of wounds and a bewildering amount of resentment. 
    The wounds have healed.  The soul is whole.  I made it so, with lots
    of help.  My anger is gone.  I only got angry when I took it personal. 
    Anger is not the way to combat institutional madness.  Violence is a
    poor way to end violence.

    I was already on the path to healing before I talked about that rape
    in therapy.  I did a lot of crying, screaming, kicking and fighting at
    the time of the rape.  I cried some during the winter after it (#6 show bike).  Crying doesn’t help.  Talking doesn’t help, except insofar
    as it brings buried trauma into the open.  Holding onto anger would
    have wounded me further.  I let it go, and that was what made it better.

    I worked as a volunteer for a time to help establish S.T.A.R.
    (standing together against rape), the first rape crisis center
    in Alaska.  I worked even longer at a crisis hotline where some of
    the
    calls were from rape victims.  A few of the calls were from
    rapists.  I
    think I was equally effective at counseling both the victims and the
    perps.  I also think that rapists are as much in need of counseling as their
    victims are.  Healing the planet one person at a time, I started with
    myself.

    UPDATE:

    My response to some of these comments is HERE.

  • My hero…

    and some other stuff.

    Heroic action may or may not come easily and naturally to people with
    NPD (that’s narcissistic personality disorder, for those of you who
    aren’t up on psych jargon and/or have not read any of Greyfox’s or my
    previous posts about his work at transcending the disorder). 
    Usually, it depends on whether or not the guy (most Ns are men) thinks
    there is some narcissistic supply for him in the heroism.  In any
    event, heroism is in the eye of the beholder.

    A week or so ago, Greyfox announced to me in one of his daily calls
    from the free phone at the Big Lake Library that when his latest
    shipment of knives came in, since he would be driving to Willow, which
    is halfway between where he lives in Wasilla and where I live on the
    edge of the back of beyond, to pick up the knives, he would come on out
    here and bring me some supplies and take some of our dirty clothes to
    the laundromat for me.

    My immediate response was gleeful:  “Do a little bit of the Mighty
    Mouse!”  He’s a good singer and a great mimic, and I just love to
    hear him sing, “Here I come to save the day….”  We talked a bit
    more, and still feeling ecstatic at not having to go to town, or to the
    laundromat (at the time, I was living under the debilitating effects of
    the Killer Turtleneck Sweater), I said, “Do Mighty Mouse again.” 
    Again he indulged me.  We were both happy at the prospect. 
    He was probably happiest about the new knives he would be getting, and
    he surely hadn’t realized how much aggravation he would be going
    through to shop for me and bring the stuff up the valley.

    As things worked out, his knives came in yesterday, along with a
    25-pound bag of garbanzo and fava bean flour for me (I’m safely
    gluten-free for months to come).  He was concerned that he
    wouldn’t have enough room in his car to haul everything, so he picked
    up the knives yesterday and waited until today to bring my groceries
    up, stopping again at the Willow Post Office to get my flour. 
    Remember, I said he was doing all this because he already needed to go
    through Willow to get the knives?  Yeah.  

    Today he posted a blog entry
    about some of his adventures while shopping for me, and there are
    little tidbits to be found in the X-grams he has left in my comments
    for the last few days.  I had been planning to trim his beard for
    him while he was here, but in the chaos of unloading groceries and loading laundry, etc., we both forgot
    that.  I probably haven’t heard the final chapter of the story yet
    – there’s still tonight’s 9 PM call when his cell minutes become free
    – but he left me a brief message a moment ago on my CallWave:  he
    had just realized that he should have left all three of the big rolls
    of duct tape here with me, because he doesn’t have room in his cabin
    for the one he took home with him.  He’s only half joking. 
    It’s a tiny cabin and he shares it with a varying number of cats
    somewhere between half a dozen and a dozen, plus furniture and
    appliances… and knives, mustn’t forget the knives, swords and battle
    axes… oh, and guns, too.


    I posted my silly Halloween blog early for several reasons:

    1. I had finished getting it ready, not wanting to wait too
      long and
      then miss the holiday because it wasn’t ready.  Halloween has
      always been one of my favorite holidays, for the candy before I kicked
      the sugar addiction, for the costumes and general wackiness after that
      and, for the last fifteen years, because it is also my wedding
      anniversary (which fact might clue the alert among you to another
      reason why I posted the “Happy Halloween” blog before October 31st
      –like maybe I have something else I want to post on my anniversary).
    2. There was plenty of more serious blogfodder in the news, but
      there was too much of it for me to be able to narrow it down
      sufficiently to avoid overkillposting.
    3. After reading the news,  I was ready for some comic
      relief.  Now, after working on my post for Friday, in response to
      the Featured_Grownups challenge, “My Worst Experience Ever,” I’m ready for some news.

    And now, the news in brief:

    Alaska
    Here in the Matanuska-Susitna Valley Papa Pilgrim
    had his day in court last week.  In Anchorage, the city government
    is considering spending over  half a million $$ to determine the
    extent of the human trafficking problem
    in the city and study how best to deal with it.  The U.S.
    Department of Justice would provide most of the funding.  
    The U.S. Senate Energy Committee today approved a budget measure that
    would open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling.

    Outside (that’s Alaskanese for elsewhere)
    Zambia is beginning an insignificantly small (25 test subjects) trial of several herbal remedies for HIV/AIDS.

    In Haiti, the first deaths from Hurricane Wilma have occurred.  More to come, most likely.

    In Baghdad — surprise, surprise — Saddam Hussein has pled not guilty
    and says he doesn’t recognize the authority of that court.  
    Yesterday on NPR, I heard several people talking about all the ways in
    which he is not going to get a fair trial, which also does not surprise
    me.

    In Switzerland, the pharmaceutical mega-corp Roche reversed its earlier
    stand and agreed to enter into discussions with countries and companies
    who want to produce their patented drug, Tamiflu
    They really had little choice in the matter, since many countries
    including the U.S., can legally overturn patents in exceptional
    circumstances.  I suppose someone there started thinking of a
    bird-flu pandemic as an exceptional circumstance.  D’ya think?

    Enough of this.

  • stupid or brilliant or both

    You know that you know too much about psychology when you start feeling
    bad about feeling bad.  I understand that there is no benefit in
    beating up on myself for a lapse in judgement or failure to maintain
    mindfulness.  I know that.  But some of my lapses are so
    egregious and the pain I experience for them is so great that I just
    naturally beat up on myself about it, and when I notice what’s going on
    I end up beating myself up over beating on myself in an endless
    feedback loop.

    I spent too much time yesterday trying to decide whether I had been
    stupid to cause the current problem, or brilliant for having discovered
    and corrected it.  I know that in the Cosmic scheme of things none
    of that matters.  That’s just the way my stupid brilliant mind
    works.  Now that I have beaten myself bloody over hurting myself,
    and then sprained my shoulder patting myself on the back for having
    stopped hurting myself, I’ll tell you how it all came about.

    Y’see, I have this neuromuscular disorder, myalgic encephalomyelopathy/chronic fatigue immunodysfunction syndrome. (Miashineon
    asked what ME/CFIDS stands for.  That’s it.)  One of its
    defining characteristics is that symptoms come and go.  Weakness,
    incoordination and pain occur somewhere in my body every day and shift
    around from place to place apparently at random, except when I do
    something to stress or fatigue a particular body part.  When I do
    that, the body part involved becomes especially weak, stiff,
    uncoordinated and sore, becoming the dominant note in my ongoing
    symphony of dysfunction.

    Last week it was my neck.  I was having trouble holding my head
    up.  I spent a lot of time with my elbow on the desk and my chin
    propped on my fist.  My shoulders and upper arms grew fatigued,
    sore, and gimpy from holding books up so I could read while resting my
    head on pillows.  For days, I thought it was just more of that old
    familiar randomness.  This shit has been going on since I was in
    school.  I remember getting in trouble for laying my head on my
    desk while I listened to the lectures.  Good grades weren’t
    enough.  Eye contact was required.

    This time, it just kept getting worse.  Then, yesterday morning I
    tried to turn my head and simply couldn’t.  The muscles were too
    weak to overcome the resistance… resistance?!?  What was
    resisting?  Shirts:  a turtleneck sweater under a high-necked
    henley, had my head and neck immobilized.  It was absurd, and
    absurdly obvious.  There have been enough times when my bedcovers
    have held me captive that I am accustomed to the idea of being
    powerless against fabric.

    I fought my way out of the shirts with more than a little bit of
    difficulty, and put on an open-necked shirt under a loose and bulky
    boat-neck sweater.  They are just as warm as the previous
    arrangement, my head is free to swivel, and my neck is gradually losing
    its soreness.  While I was arguing with myself yesterday over
    whether I had been stupid to dress that way or brilliant to figure out
    that the clothes were causing the problem, I did come up with one
    little excuse for the prolonged stupidity:  the turtleneck had
    been cutting off the circulation to my brain.

    P.S.  Dawning light has revealed… snow.  It’s sticking and
    still falling, and I haven’t gotten my winter tires put on my car
    yet.  I miss summer:  the long hours of daylight, the warmth,
    the birds.  Geese and swans have gone south.  I’ve got the
    old migratory urge.  Time to switch from bird mode to bear mode
    and hibernate, I guess.

    Doug is playing, and singing along with the theme song on:

  • Liberty, Luxury, and Leisure

    These alliterative values mean a lot to me, although their definitions
    have altered radically for me over the years.  In childhood, for
    example, I highly valued the rare liberty to stay up late at
    night.  Now that I have both the leisure and the liberty to go to
    bed (most days) at any hour I choose, I am more likely to appreciate
    the luxury of being able to turn in early.

    After trying unsuccessfully to prioritize which of the three is more or
    less important to me, I shall take the liberty of declaring it doesn’t
    matter much.  I value them all, none more than the others in the
    long run, but some above the rest sometimes.  For example, in the
    various jails and one prison where I spent a cumulative couple of years
    in my mid-twenties, there were both relative leisure and luxuries such
    as central heating and indoor plumbing that I lack here and now, but my
    current state of relative liberty is preferable to me.

    During my homeless periods before and after prison, I had unlimited
    liberty, but only scant leisure and very little luxury. 
    Currently, family responsibilities, financial constraints, and various
    commitments limit my liberty, but there are some attractive and
    comforting compensations.  Particularly, I enjoy the luxury of
    being on the electrical grid.  For fifteen years, my son and I
    lived off-grid.  The first few years, we didn’t even have our own
    generator.  I would haul a 12-Volt car battery on a sled or in a
    wagon to a neighbor’s house for charging so that we could listen to a
    radio.  When we got a little Toro generator, it was truly a valued
    luxury.

    Running water and indoor plumbing are luxuries we still lack, but we
    have the liberty to walk off into wilderness at our leisure, and the
    luxuries of privacy, clean air, wildlife in the yard, and all the clear
    clean water we can haul home in our buckets from the neighborhood
    artesian spring.  These are luxuries and liberties we couldn’t
    have in any city, some of them not even in the small towns
    nearby.  If I could find a way to have it all, I would. 
    Until I do, I will take the greater liberty of privacy and the luxury
    of the wilderness across the road.

    Some factors in my life are hard to categorize as liberty or
    luxury.  In the 1960s, after I discovered the pleasures of illicit
    drugs, I resented the government for restricting my liberty to use
    them.  Although I still view addiction as a public health issue
    rather than one of criminal justice, having had the leisure to reflect
    on my experiences, I now recognize that addictive substances restrict
    my liberty even more than the law does.  Many drugs are thus
    luxuries I couldn’t really afford even if I were wealthy, while some
    other drugs are now essential to my continuing living.  Thus, life
    itself is a luxury and one for which I willingly trade a little of my
    liberty and leisure in order to acquire my prescriptions and remember
    to take my pills.

    Leisure, at this stage of my life, is perhaps my most problematic
    so-called luxury.  The enforced leisure of ME/CFIDS is in some
    ways even more constraining than that I had in prison.  It taxes
    my intelligence and creativity at times, coming up with non-physical
    means of avoiding boredom and mental stagnation.  Occasionally I
    catch myself resorting to diversions such as video games and DVDs that
    are as damaging to my mental health as drugs have been to my physical
    health.

    I have made a boldface and forceful mental note to myself to beware of
    the videos that Greyfox gives me.  His taste for horror and black
    comedy can leave my vulnerable imagination filled with images I’d
    rather not have there.  Yesterday, I viewed a typically Greyfoxian
    double feature:  Freeway and Six Ways To Sunday–way too much blood and weirdness for me.

    I’m going to try to get some housework done now.  When I run into
    the fatigue wall, maybe I’ll try clearing off my work table and doing a
    jigsaw puzzle, or play computer solitaire.  I will NOT watch Blue Velvet or The Brain That Wouldn’t Die… and I have already put aside unfinished that “excellent” book Greyfox recommended, The Skinner.  Maybe I’ll try it again later, when my psyche isn’t so battered and raw.

  • exquisite timing

    Our water supply was running low yesterday, and I had a few overdue
    library books, so Doug and I went somewhere for the first time since we
    went the other way, up the valley, to vote in our local election on the
    sixth.  Doug’s diurnal pattern has rotated back around to nearly
    nocturnal.  We left as soon as he had breakfast, and the sun was
    going down on our trip into Willow.

    The library was closed.  I deposited the books in the book
    drop.  Then I filled Streak’s tank with gas and we bought a few
    things at Townsite Store before heading back toward home.  Traffic
    was light and the trip was uneventful both ways.   Gray skies
    and bare trees along the way are barely worth mentioning.

    When I pulled off the highway at the turnout next to the spring,
    someone was already there.  A couple who appeared to be in their
    forties had a gasoline generator running in the back of their pickup
    truck, with an extension cord snaking down the slope to the
    spring.  An electric pump down there was pushing water back up the
    slope through a hose and into a tank in the back of the truck.  We
    sat in the car and looked at the mail we had picked up on our way out.

    A few minutes later, the man came over and tapped on the window beside
    Doug.  He offered to fill our buckets and jugs for us from his
    hose.  I didn’t even have to get out of the car.  Doug
    unloaded and opened all the jugs and buckets, the man filled them, and
    then Doug capped them and put them back in the car.  This is the
    second time in the past year or so that some neighbor we didn’t even
    know has done that mitzvah for us.  It makes for an easy water
    run, instead of the usual way when I crouch beside the spring, fill
    buckets and lift them out of the waterhole for Doug to carry up the
    slope and load into the car.  Loving my neighbors isn’t at all
    difficult around here most of the time.

    The entire trip was quick and relatively easy.  Doug got all the
    water into the house and split a big armload of firewood to fill the
    wood box, and got it all done before dark.

     

  • I dreamt of Inez and Alvin

    I don’t know Inez and Alvin, never met them except in this dream. 
    Both of them are slender, angular people in middle age.  They look
    enough like one another that they could be siblings.  They have
    Athabaskan coppery-bronze skin, glossy straight black hair, and
    dark/bright eyes surrounded by sun wrinkles–Alaskan Natives, for sure.

    Inez is angry.  The background feeling of anger and resentment
    overwhelms any other emotions that may float through her mind. 
    She has worked for years in a social service job, trying to help people
    whose problems range from concrete issues such as homelessness and
    poverty to more subtle matters of addictions, mental illness, and
    social adjustment.

    Inez has social service burnout.  Some workers internalize it,
    feeling an oppressive sense of failure and futility.  She has
    externalized it.  She fumes and burns with her anger at the
    society that rejects and oppresses her clients and the clients
    themselves who won’t take some simple steps to help themselves. 
    She doesn’t stop trying to help.  She just doesn’t know why she
    keeps trying.  It has gone from being a cause to being a job.

    Alvin is proud.  Pride, for Alvin, is a survival strategy. 
    If not for his pride in his ethnic identity, his masculinity, and the
    long-ago crowning achievement of his lifetime, he would collapse under
    the burdens of his alcoholism, his unemployment, and the prospects
    before him as winter closes in on the street people of Anchorage. 

    He focuses, instead, on the bold action of his youth, when he escaped
    from the foster home and boarding school and made his way first back to
    his village and then, soon after, on into Anchorage, where he was never
    found and returned to the school.  Nothing he has experienced,
    nothing he might have missed or lost in his lifetime, means as much to
    Alvin as having escaped from those crazy people in that horrible school.

    I don’t  know why Alvin and Inez came into my dreams this
    night.   Her anger and his pride feel as real to me as if I
    felt them myself. I heard their voices.  If I should meet them
    sometime, I know I would recognize them.  I love them, and I wish
    them well.  Both of them deserve much better than they’ve gotten.