April 8, 2005
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MY WISHES
I want there to be no mistake and no debate about what sort of care I want at the end
of life and/or if I should become unable to express my own needs and
wishes.I recently heard about agingwithdignity.org
and a document they have prepared, called The Five Wishes. I find
much in that document with which I disagree, but have borrowed freely
from it in expressing my end-of-life wishes.I am preparing a
hard copy of this that includes addresses and phone numbers of my
designated agents. Otherwise, these are the instructions I’m
giving for my care should I become incapable of taking care of myself.The person I designate as my health care agent, to act on my behalf, is my son Scott Douglass Studdert.
My second choice, if he is not available, is my husband Greyfox.
My third choice is Charles E. Studdert.
My agent is to:
- make choices for me regarding health care, including diagnostic tests, starting or stopping treatment, and life support.
- interpret any instructions I have given herein or in private discussions with him or directly to my health care providers.
- arrange for admission to or release from a hospital, hospice or other facility and hire or fire any private care personnel.
- make the decision to request, withhold or deny any treatments including artificially-provided food and water and life-support.
- see my medical records and personal files and approve or deny their release, and to sign any related forms for me.
- move me to another state to get the care I need or to carry out my wishes.
- authorize or refuse to authorize any medication or procedure to help with pain.
- take any legal action necessary to carry out my wishes.
- donate usable organs and tissues of mine as allowed by law.
- apply for Medicare, Medicaid or similar benefits, and may have
access to my personal records such as bank records necessary for those
applications.
I want to be offered food and fluids by mouth, and to be kept clean and
warm. If I am able to handle my pain with the mind-over-matter
techniques with which I have done so for most of my adult life, I do
not want to receive medication for pain. I want to be as alert
and coherent as possible, within reason, at the end of life.
Should I become unable to deal with my discomfort, my agent will know
when to request medication for me.If my prognosis is such that my health care providers believe I have a
reasonable expectation of recovery, I want any necessary temporary
life-support measures such as surgery, respirators, dialysis, IV
nutrients or drugs, tube feeding, CPR, blood transfusions or any other
treatment to keep me alive through the crisis. If I am brain
dead, in a persistent vegetative state, or any other state without a
prognosis for recovering my capacity for communication and independent
survival, I want no life support at all. Let me die swiftly with
peace and dignity.If my doctor and another health-care professional both decide that I am
likely to die within a short period of time and life-support treatment
would only delay the moment of my death, I want no life support.
If it has been started, I want it stopped.If my doctor and another health-care professional both decide that I
have permanent and severe brain damage (for example if I can open my
eyes but not speak, understand or respond even by blinking, etc.), and I am not expected to
recover, and life-support treatment would only delay the moment of my
death, I
want no life support. If it has been started, I want it stopped.If my doctor and another health-care professional both decide that I am
in a coma from which I am not expected to wake up and recover, and I
have brain damage, and life-support treatment would only delay the
moment of my death, I
want no life support. If it has been started, I want it stopped.If I am in an end-stage condition from any of my currently existing
chronic illnesses (COPD, heart or kidney failure, for example) or other condition, or in an
acute crisis in which treatment will not aid recovery but only prolong
life, I do not want treatment. Do not subject me to the indignity
and my family to the costs and burdens of treatment. If I refuse
food, do not force or tube-feed me. Give me water if I will
accept it.If, and only if, I am incapable of using the painswitch technique to
relieve my discomfort, I wish to have sufficient medication to relieve
my pain.If I show signs of severe depression, anxiety, nausea, shortness of
breath, etc., my agent is to decide when it is severe enough to
intervene with drugs. If I’m hallucinating, I think I can handle
that. I might even find it entertaining.When I am near death, I wish to be read to from the American Book of
the Dead or an English translation of the Tibetan Book of the Dead.If I cannot care for my own hair and nails, keep them cut short.
Don’t fuss over my physical hygeine and comfort more than
necessary. If I cannot control my own bowel and bladder
functions, please clean me up as necessary. I ask no more than
what is needed to prevent decubitus ulcers, diaper rash, etc.I wish to be cared for with kindness and cheerfulness and not with sadness. I want to die at home if possible.
I wish for my family and caregivers to carry out my stated wishes even if they do not agree with them.
I have told my family and friends I love them. If they don’t know
it, that would be because they don’t believe me or I didn’t repeat it often enough, and I regret that for
their sakes.I hope for their sakes that they will forgive me for any wrongs or hurts I’ve done them.
I want everyone to know that I have forgiven everything there ever was to forgive.
I want those who care about me to know that I do not fear death.
Regarding my remains, if it is feasible for them to be given to a
medical school for instructional purposes, that is my wish.
Otherwise, whatever part of my body is of no practical use as organ or
tissue donations, I want disposed of as simply and cheaply as
possible. If I could legally be dumped out in the woods somewhere
for the carrion eaters, that would be my wish. I want no
ceremony, no mourners, no memorial.
Comments (17)
warm, clean and dignified. that about sums it up.
but this?
“If I’m hallucinating, I think I can handle that. I might even find it entertaining.”
my gawd, you crack me the hell up sometimes.
I found that amusing too
It’s a good list 
hmmm … if you could open your eyes and nothing else, you still might be able to communicate by blinking … i think i’d try to clear up that paragraph a bit … true you could blink “yes” or “no” to the question “do you want to go on like this?” … but only if someone asks you
it’s ambiguities like this that create court cases
I think this is very clear and concise, and the part about hallucinations cracked me up.
thank you for posting this, it has helped me take the first step that i have been putting off.
on a lighter note, i agree with LuckyStars… nice way to add brevity to such a serious thing.
Strange, throughout all of history people just died (it seems to me) and now, because of science, we have this. I don’t know what to think of it. I’m a slow learner. I like your forgiveness part especially. Myself am still procrastinating — right to the end, maybe. I have “always, it seems,” held the notion that I would just like to be let alone for 3 days after my death because a small percentage, like 1 in a hundred thousand, have been known to revive on their own. But now, with formaldehyde, or whatever, with science’s meddling, I suppose that would be unlikely. Sweet dreams, wherever, a long time from now, I hope. I confess I’ve only read a portion of what you’ve written here, but it seemed good and reasonable; I’m just in a butterfly mood (about this), not unusual.
I think you covered it all. One could only hope to go out hallucinating. Sounds fun.
That’s my wish.
they sound like very well thought out requests
and I’m with Lucky
I think this is a great note. Mine is quite similar.. minus the hallucinating.
Loved that part.
I need to put together one of these, but damn I do like yours.
And now I’m off to google painswitch technique ………
Very well written….
^Yeah, me too–what she said–especially the part about hallucinating (hey, it worked for Aldous Huxley–when he was dying of cancer, his last wish, which was granted, was to be hit up with LSD).
More seriously, there was nothing there that surprised me, no news, but I still got teary-eyed reading it.
Darlin’, you are what we used to call one hell of a classy act.
Tha’s very well thought out . . Now your friend’s and family know exactly what you would want if this situation occured . I found it amusing when you said if you could deal with the hallucination’s it might be interesting ! haha You take care
I’ve copied it nearly word for word (including the Tibetan Book of the Dead) and added a few of my own.
For instance, If I appear to be suffering from some sort of dementia and I think I’m the Queen of Whatever, then humor me and quit telling me it’s Thursday if I appear to think it’s Tuesday.
Etc.
Well Done, thank you for this.
VERY well done. This is so important!
I’m liking the addition the JadedOne made to it too.