February 24, 2005
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Getting to Know Myself
I had to chuckle at this from fatgirlpink:
I
so admire the fact that you know yourself so well.I wasn’t amused at what she wrote as much as I was laughing at
myself. Maybe it takes another Virgo to appreciate my
self-knowledge. Astrologer Linda Goodman wrote about Virgo’s
obsession with mirrors.A quite different attitude toward self-absorption, self-interest and
self-centeredness is prevalent in our culture. Maybe Virgos can
get away with our habitual focus on self because we also tend to be
focused on service to others. I’ve discovered in my 12-step
groups that the better I know myself and express what I know, sharing
my thoughts and experiences, the more the other members tell me I’ve
helped them. Go figure.Over 2,000 years ago, Thales of Miletus in the West and SunTzu in the
East were advocating self-knowledge. Sun Tzu also taught, “know
your enemy.” My mother used to tell me I was my own worst enemy,
so there is yet another reason to get to know myself.It’s not as if I could successfully choose NOT to get to know myself. Try as I might to
divert myself, to occupy my consciousness with external stimuli, there
always seem to be those unguarded moments when the only object in my
awareness is me. It happens in quiet moments at just about any
time, particularly those hypnogogic moments as I’m falling asleep.I had enough quiet time alone during my year in
prison three decades ago to examine my entire life up to that
point. I had tried meditation before then, but that was the first
time I was really able to do it. I contemplated my own navel so
much that I figuratively fell into it.During the next two decades, I started working on myself, tinkering
with my consciousness, trying to transcend my limits and transform
myself. My mentors during that time were writers and gurus who,
despite many differences among their disciplines, uniformly advocated
self-knowledge. I formed habits of self-examination.I wrote this week about those rough three weeks while
my computer was down, I was immobilized by illness, the PS2s stopped
working, a moose attacked my dog, I ran out of books to read, had no TV, got bored and disgusted
with the radio, etc. With no compelling distractions, I got a refresher course in Kathy-consciousness 101.Just as E.J. Gold said it works, changes in my consciousness occurred
as I examined my consciousness. I never have to work at
self-change. I just have to Work at self-awareness. The
awareness brings the required change. The change is what I need,
and yet I often resist the process that brings it. Such
resistance is futile. Will I ever learn?
Comments (7)
Hi there–I just read last night “Know myself? If I did, I’d run away!” I forget who said it, someone famous.
I might bag the meeting tonight–two-star horoscope and “Tonight–Act the recluse.”
A favor to ask–and BTW, thanks for calling Lindy, if I neglected to thank you last night–please go back to the poem I wrote (NOT the kittens thing, the good one, before that) and print a hard copy for me so I can submit it to ADN. No rush, sub deadline is April 15.
I’m feel joy that the process will not relent.
I’m married to a sweet sweet Virgo and that’s where my moon is…and we probaly have a mirror in every room of the house…
Is what you’ve described (changes in consciousness occur as one’s consciousness is examined) also called visualization? There’s this movie I saw recently… discusses that whole process– when it comes out in video/DVD, maybe you should check it out.
yes … but i’m getting a little bored with myself lately … time to look somewhere else for awhile, i think, as i’ve been doing a lot of self-looking …
Hi again– I opened up,Don stopped by–he knows Beergoggles! Aslo, Trigger stopped with some great Talkeetna gossip!
I may splurge and get some Michael Moorcock books from the Wasilla library.
You’ve certainly had your share lately, haven’t you?
I really meant that. It sounds amazingly blond brickyard girl of me to say this…I’m with myself 24/7. How can I possibly not be aware of who I am? I may not know myself, but I am not a fool. If I was truly aware of who I was, I wouldn’t constantly be in a state of change. I’d find some territory that would remain the same but nothing does. So yeah…you know exactly what you like, need, want, require and lust. You know your strengths. You know what you’re weak in the knees for. You know how your mind and body and spirit work…it almost seems at all times. I remain in awe of how well you know yourself.