January 17, 2005
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Uh huh! and Aha!
Have you ever read anything that gave you one “Uh huh!” (confirmation
or validation of something you had intuited, assumed, or suspected) or
“Aha!” (learning a delightful and relevant new fact) moment after
another?If so, you understand how I felt this morning as I read my new book, Why We Love. If not, awwww, I’m sorry — you just don’t know what you’re missing.
I crawled into bed with the book late last night and was so engrossed
that I sat up until almost seven this morning reading it. I’m not
finished yet, am about halfway through, but already many pieces have
fallen into place for me.The author, after extensive research including functional MRI scans on
the brains of madly-in-love subjects, has demonstrated that
a) romantic love is not an “emotion” in the jargon of psychology,
but rather is a “drive” or “motivation” along with two other related
drives she calls “lust” and “attachment.”
b) the brain chemistry of romantic love involves elevated levels
of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine, and low levels of
serotonin.That latter datum explains a lot to me. Norepinephrine acts like
amphetamine. This explains why I experienced similar remission of
symptoms of my neuro-muscular disorder when I was madly in love and
when I was shooting speed.The brain scans revealed that the parts of the brain affected by
romantic love (or limerance, to use Dorothy Tennov’s word) are the same
ones involved in addiction. No surprise there, just a big uh huh.Chapter 2 was a fun read, all about expressions of this same drive
among other species such as beavers and elephants — and of course
chimps and orangutans.I marked many passages last night as I read, thinking I’d transcribe them, but instead I found online a radio interview with the author that you can listen to if you’re curious.
It is not my usual practice to write a review on a book I’ve not
finished reading. Just don’t consider this a review. It’s a
tip, a pointer, a recommendation.I will review it when I’m done reading it.
I’m concerned about Greyfox and his furry family. He called this
morning to say there is a windstorm in Wasilla and a power
outage. Our temps here are in double digits below zero, so it
probably isn’t much warmer there. His only heat source in that
cabin is electric (except for a few candles), and wind will suck what
little heat there is right out.I’m hoping power was restored quickly but, since he doesn’t seem to
have been out to the net cafe to leave me any xanga grams, that seems
unlikely. A few of the cabins at Felony Flats have oil
heat. I suppose if necessary he could wait it out with a neighbor
telling stories or playing cards by candlelight.Last time I was in town, his little heater was having a hard time
keeping the place warm and we talked about his options should the power
go off.
If he really needed to, he could box up Silky and the kittens and
drive around in the car. Not the best way to spend a day, but
better than kittencicles.
Comments (15)
I’m interested to hear the rest of your review. I have a pile of books waiting, but I’m thinking I want to add that one the list.
Love as an addiction. *ponders* Yeah, I can see that… Definitely explains why it’s always soooo hard for me to end something, even when it’s gone horribly wrong. I don’t drink, smoke, or do any other illegal drugs, but I’ve got alcoholic genes so I guess love and chocolate is where it’s at for me. *snort*
I can just see it now… Romantics Anonymous.
I think I read a review of Why We Love in Scientific American. It explained a lot, but was disillusioning. The magic is really a chemical imbalance.
I haven’t read this particular book but i read a few studies that said pretty much the same thing. Every time i read this kind of material i find it profoundly interesting.
Good blog.
I’m learning and growing and your posts are so inspiring. I’m so getting it now..
Wouldn’t emotion still be quantified as the reaction that causes the initial increase in dopamine and norepinephrine?
I’m going to check out that book. (I STILL think it would be a cool idea for you to put a recommended reading list at the bottom of your blog. Your suggestions are so invaluable.) The information so far about love/addiction, etc makes SO much sense. It’s one of those things that you just *know* on a level and then, as you say, you read someone else’s take on it and have an “ah hah” moment. I hope that Greyfox can get in (or OUT) out of the cold.
I read that there was a village in Alaska that had a power outage Sunday and by this morning it had not been restored. That is downright scary!!! I do hope he takes this as a warning and gets himself a reliable oil heater!! I was wondering when I read this if people put up a big supply of wood and burn it. Do some people rely on that?
As a fellow recovering, I was interested in your UH HUH as to the same chemical affecting romantic love also feeding on addiction. I was always a romantic tho it was rarely returned when I was practicing!!!!
Well, I finally got a comp–the guy before me used five minutes of my time, and he left the comp so fucked up they had to reboot it, so I may end up being screwed out of ten minutes out my half-hour. Then I went to add to my gun show blog and it fucking vanished without a trace. I could just scream!
The good news–ask me about the new stray cat tonight, it’ll take too long to write about it. And I hope to have good news about the credit cards, the bank is my next stop after here.
Well, Silky is up to her old bitchy tricks again. Last night, when she didn’t hassle the stray cat (who I have tentatively named Marcel, or Marcelle, depending) I had some hope she was mellowing out. This morning, though, she went out and there was this hissing and growling and thumping as she drove off marcel. Oh, well. . . .
Hope the Big Lake grocery has more of that cheap cat food, probably should have gotten a few bags when I saw’em,a nd will got o the CU, too, to see about fixing my acct.
Later.
That sounds curiously intriguing. Definitely adding that book to my reading list. I wonder if there are drugs or natural chemicals that one could ingest to supress this so-called drive. If so – could humans harnesss the energy normally dedicated to the pursuit of sex and channel it into other endeavors? I do wonder.
Interesting, this is about the third time in a month that someone has mentioned that book. It does sound interesting.
Dear Kathy Lynn,
UhHuh, and Aha. One line in your post stood our for me. You actually injected methamphetamine into your veins? I used to proclaim I’d ingested almost every drug known to man (back in the 70s, except for heroin) and I’ve smoked quite a lot of speed in my time, but never would I ever think of actually injecting a drug into my bloodstream. I don’t know why I drew the line there, but it just seems crazy to me.
By the tone of your posts I’ve read however, nothing that has happened in your life has seemed to blunt your perception or your good sense. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. I clicked the link for the book title, and received “server application unavailable”. There is a book entitled “Why We Love” by Helen Fisher, and I am supposing that is the book to which you refer.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
just popped by to say hello…see how you were doing way up there. freezing i bet.
mikeo
I hope there is more reviewing to come. This sounds like a great read!