October 30, 2004

• It’s another morning.

  I took a break yesterday when I broke down and cried from fatigue and
  frustration.  Then I got back to work.  I did that twice more
  – breaks then work again, not breakdowns — before I quit for the day
  and crawled in bed.  Yesterday’s objective was to finish cleaning
  the work table and get some of that kind of (possibly paying) work done
  (as opposed to most of the work I do which is either volunteer work,
  work in support of my family, or maintaining the household).

  I didn’t do much to the worktable after the crying fit yesterday. 
  I did get the storage tub into place under there, but it wasn’t as
  simple as folding the gate leg as I’d supposed.  After I’d cleared
  it off and attempted that, I realized that because the leg folded back
  and the top folded down that if the tub was then placed back there I
  wouldn’t be able to fold the top back up and the gate back out.  I
  left the problem for a while and used the newly-cleared top of my
  coffee table for a task that had been delayed a few weeks: 
  repairing that end table Greyfox scrounged and sent home with me.

  That entailed finding the hex key set, using it and a screwdriver to
  remove one leg, then gluing the broken parts and reattaching the
  leg.  I didn’t have to find the glue.  Since cleaning the
  bathroom, I know right where it is.  Now that beautiful blonde
  wood side table with a smoky glass insert in its top is parked in an
  awkward place near the foot of my bed, waiting for me to finish
  cleaning my worktable so I can move the stuff I piled onto the
  footlocker beside Greyfox’s chair (since he’s decided he doesn’t live
  here anymore, maybe I need a new name for that chair).  The
  jewelry materials from the bookshelf at the end of my worktable went
  onto that footlocker when Doug and I were winterizing the dining room
  window and I needed to climb on the bookshelf.  It stayed there
  because cleaning the worktable entails a full-scale reorganization of
  those materials to incorporate new acquisitions that had been piling up
  on the table.

  When that is done, the newly-repaired blond wood table will replace the
  battered old orange metal footlocker beside that chair.  Until
  that’s done, that table will receive more of the impedimenta off the
  work table while I clean it and rearrange the materials.  That’s
  today’s project, just as it was yesterday’s and the daily objective for
  I don’t remember how long.  How long before it’s really done,
  nobody knows, least of all me.  I just set the goals.  I
  evidently have no skill at all in discerning how long a job might take
  from start to finish.  I never seem to reach the finish.

  Awww… that’s just frustration talking.  I do expect to get this
  job done someday.  I’m simply getting very weary of the way it
  drags on and on and other things come up that need to be done
  first.  I spent most of my summer reorganizing the storage space
  in the back room and bathroom, to make room for Greyfox’s stock of
  knives and swords because he was due to move back in here next
  month.  That was all apparently unnecessary.  But it wasn’t
  entirely without its rewards.  There are now some pockets of order
  amid the chaos here, and I found some things I’d forgotten I had, plus
  a few things I’d been wondering where they were.

  Don’t worry about me, ladies.  Your expressions of concern after
  yesterday’s break were touching.  When I’m venting, I’m
  coping.  The time to start worrying about me is when you don’t
  hear from me.  That might mean my computer is down (an eventuality
  I hate to even consider), or I’m incapacitated or dead or, even worse,
  too depressed to dredge up the gumption to write.

  [LastUnicorn/NeverSafe: 
  I read your recent entries Thursday night when I was too tired for a
  coherent response.  I have thoughts and feelings about what you've
  written, but am having a hard time putting them into words.  You
  and Chelle are in my thoughts and prayers and I will be back there to
  leave comments as soon as I have something more to say. ]
  

  Ooops!
  PS
  I forgot to reveal how I finally got that tub under the table.  I
  had to move the white enameled metal cabinet at the kitchen end of the
  worktable.  We store buckets of water inside it and use the top of
  it as a side-board in the kitchen.  I swung one end of it out a
  few feet, cleaned the bit of floor that exposed, and worked the tub in
  behind it to its new home against the wall behind my worktable. 
  Then I put the cabinet back, moved it back a few inches until it was
  flush up against the table, and added a few inches of clearance in the
  kitchen passage between the fridge and the water buckets stacked in
  front of the white cabinet, that won’t fit inside it.

  • 1:50 pm
  • 8 Comments