September 2, 2004
-
Memory…
of a dream,
I guess….I woke this morning from a dream I don’t quite recall. What I do
recall is associating that dream, in those hypnopompic moments of
awakening, with something that happened previously. At least, at
the time, I was thinking that it was a “real” occurrence and that it
had somehow triggered the dream. Now I’m not so sure, because I
cannot place the “real event” into any time/space context, nor can I
give names or faces to the people involved. I suppose it was a
dream and the latest dream was part of a series.There were two young women in dark clothing. I suppose they could
be called Goth-looking, or somewhere between Goth and Punk. I
keep wanting to make that “neo-Goth”, because like neo-Pagans the
people now wearing the label bear so little resemblance to the
originals. They had a few tasteful tattoos and piercings and they
seemed comfortable, at ease in their own skins, sure of who they
are. Their conversation was easy and familiar, centering on
practical matters and their feelings.An intrusive young man was there, too. He appeared to be
determined to break into the tight rapport between the women. His
attitude seemed to be the fake-it-til-you-make-it thing. He was
pierced and tattooed to excess, over dressed (all in black, of
course). He kept interjecting his thoughts into the women’s
conversation. They involved trivia, gossip, and philosophy he had
read or heard, related without much conviction or comprehension.
The women were ignoring him. That only made him try harder to be
heard.
I got no writing done yesterday, no real work besides that necessary to
sustain life. I’m so ill that I had almost decided not to go to
town today. I had
decided not to go, but practical considerations changed my plan.
This is the worst time of year for me. [Did I say that same thing
during breakup? It's true: the transitional seasons are the
worst.] The air is damp and filled with mold spores. It is
like breathing toxic soup. To stay warm we lit the woodstove,
adding smoke to the soup. In a few months there will be snow on
the ground and the air will be drier and cleaner. The snow will
reflect and amplify all available light, even starlight, and it will
not seem as dark as it does now when the sun is down. This season
is hard because the midnight sun vanishes so fast and leaves such total
blackness, such stark contrast to the white nights of summer.
This year is worse than before because instead of the sunny gold leaves
drifting down, many leaves are brown, already on the ground and moldy
or clinging to the trees, ugly and sick.
Comments (10)
Sometimes the necessity to sustain life has to supercede everything else.
I dread this change of season for you. I have my worst allergies at this time, but nothing compared to illness you experience.
Healing energy to you Kathy, I love you.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. Your dream was strange. I wonder what it heralds for you.
Xanga-gram for Kathy!
1, Hope you’re better today.
2, Bittner catalog was a skimpy sale flyer, but I wanna get some vanadanite crystals (blood-red on white barite matrix) and stuff.
3, You put the photo-copy that you need into the envelop of stuff for me. I still have Hunter’s letter, too. Shall I mail them to you before they get lost in the clutter?
4, It was raining this morning, but now I see patches of blue sky, next I check weather.com.
5, Hope you’re better today. This bears repeating.
Love ya.
everyone in the dream is you. and three is pretty symbolic (father son and holy ghost). your male side is feeling intrusive to your feminine, more intuitive side. a conflict with what you want to do and what you know.
Hey, hey, hey! Love ya’ll, but besides that… I couldn’t get back to you the other day, and I do so love talking to you all for as little as I get to do it these days. Guess I covered about everything though, and coming here updates me on the new stuff there, so it’s all good. I’m happy here but I can’t wait to get back to the real word sometime and have some more fun. the people here are very good people though overall. They are very open and generally kind, and most often treat you as you treat them. I mean yesterday I was assigned a group of about 10 Iraqi’s to look after and take care of through the day while they inprocessed some stuff on the post. It was pretty much an all day event and other groups were going around too, but their caretakers were very harsh on them, always yelling at them, not feeding them when they were hungry and always telling them to wait to go to the bathroom. It was sunday, the one day of the week we usually have to get some rest, so everybody just wanted to get it over with so they could go back to their rooms and chill, but you know, we’re here to work with and cooperate with these people, not shrug them off because we want to go take a nap. I mean, if we’re gonna spend billions and billions to improve relations here, then we might as well do it when it counts. But anyways, I fed my group well, allowed them restroom breaks whenever they needed them and even found them some shade when they had to wait anywhere for a while, where other group leaders weren’t always considerate. they would say things like,well if they’re going to take my sunday away to babysit these guys, then I’ll give em’ hell! Wrong answer in my book because if we have to do it we might as well have fun, and I did. Can’t understand most of what they say and vice versa, but I’m a big fan of charades, so what if my co-workers think I’m daffy. And when the Iraqi’s laugh too, they have a good time. And I gave them cold water when others gave their guys warm water. I got chewed out for it because they didn’t want to give them cold water, but it was hot out and I was told to take care of them, so I did.
Otherwise not much else happened since I talked to you. Most days are just regular work on vehicles and such. But you all take care now and I’ll be sure to drop a line every now and then, k?
Cheers,
Seph
Oh there he is. (Seph)
————
Kathy … I’ve dreamed of you twice this week, and each time you hand me a coffee can (an old coffee can) wrapped in a brown linen, tied just under the plastic rim. I want to look inside it, but just as I do, I always wake up.
Two nights ago I woke covered in sweat, holding my hands as though I were actually holding the coffee can. Any words on that?
I don’t repeat dreams, and when I do, they contain a real message. (so much for blah-ging on dreamless sleep … eh?)
Okay, saw a JadedFey on my last post with just a grin and there you are, saw you as a link, came here in loking of a possible answer, posted back and now I see some sense in the matter. Perhaps I suppose she heard from you about me… maybe?
Here’s something fun, create a word using all the letters in the alphabet. Fun*
Take care,
Seph
I’ve been by here, a few times, to read your stories and wisdom. Oddly enough, I noticed today that you’re one of my subscribers…. shows you where my brain is… or isn’t.
The leaves turning brown reminds me of what a strange year this has been. The turning of the season’s are hard… even here, many 1000′s of miles away, I take joy in a new season while also feeling less than healthy. It’s odd… I know so few (if any?) empaths who are not profoundly buggered by an assortment of allergies… spring blooms, and harvest seeds.
Your dream… interesting… an “artificial” (less than genuine) impostor trying to insert himself into something authentic, attempting to break a bond. Does that mean anything to you?
This is weird spooky.
First…before I clicked to the comments on this particular blog, I’d decided to ask if you’d heard from Seph even thought I was almost afraid to ask.
I also had been wondering why I hadn’t seen Sarah around here much of late.
And now?
I’m ok.
And…bless GreyFox’s heart for making me smile with his vague yet pointed reference to Blazing Saddles. Candy Gram for mongo. bwahahaaa!
I wish I had a cd burner on my computer. I’d burn and send this cd to you. The native american flute music. I think you’d like it. I can’t seem to stop listening to it.