November 6, 2002

• A little earthquake update:  as of 8:23 AM Wednesday, along with gazillions of smaller quakes, there had been twenty-three aftershocks exceeding the 4.5 Richter threshhold to make the BIGQUAKE list, since Sunday’s 7.9.   The oil pipeline is shut down indefinitely, and I have not heard any trains go by, so the railroad is surely still down pending track repairs.  Most of the highways that had closed are now open at least one lane, with temporary repairs.  The human toll:  one elderly woman broke her arm falling dowstairs on the way out of her house during the big shake.

  
  

  Has anyone noticed that my blogs tell about the forties, sixties, seventies…and leave out most of the fifties?  This has been a pebble in my shoe for months.  My angst-ridden adolescence was a time I preferred to forget, as much as possible, as soon as I was through that crisis and secure in my identity.  In my recent marginally functional state, with asthma, emphysema, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue imunnodysfunction syndrome (AKA fibromyalgia) and systemic Candida albicans, (and ogawd… that shifting collection of on and off, remitting and relapsing symptoms of autoimmune syndrome) I haven’t felt quite up to tackling my teenage years…until now…maybe.

  
  

  I’m feeling better physically, just a few days into the new regime of five-times-a-day handfuls of vitamins, minerals, herbs, amino acids, and coenzymes.  There was spring in my step today, and there hasn’t been any spring in my step since my respiratory crisis three years ago.  Yesterday, I felt perky enough to do about twice as much work as I’ve done in a single day for years, and to dance around a bit while I was working, with nouveau flamenco in my headphones.  It was probably too much activity too soon.  My steps were something between hobble and stumble before an early bedtime.

  
  

  Today, after about the same amount of work as yesterday, I went up to the high school to vote, with a stop on the way to see if Charley wanted a ride to the polls.  Doug treated us to lunch in Sunshine Restaurant at the Talkeetna Y, then we came home, picked up the empty buckets and jugs, took a bag of food to the feral cats across the road, then went to the spring and filled the buckets and jugs. 

  
  

  When I got out of the car at home, the stiffness that after such a trip usually makes getting out of the car both difficult and painful, was gone.  I had only a little burn from lactic acid in my long leg muscles, no more than I’m accustomed to by lunchtime any day, when I’ve done no more than sit at the computer, and get up two or three times for coffee.  Oh, and I did that today, too, in between the early work and the trip to the polls.

  
  

  It’s 5:23 Tuesday evening.  I’m relaxed, tired and happy.  Other than one little episode of asthma at the spring, when Koji and I were on opposite ends of his leash, trying to go in opposite directions, there have been no asthma attacks, glycemic rushes, inflammatory responses to allergens, no brain fog (oh, and that’s a biggie) nor adrenaline rush/exhaustion reaction.  A practically perfect day, all things considered.  I might even have enough energy left tonight to put a new layer of duct tape on the bottoms of my grungy old once-white yeti-feet booties, just in case I need to run out tomorrow morning without taking time to put on my boots.

  
  

  I have one more memoir blog in the can, about the spring following my first winter in Anchorage.  It is out of sequence with the Fur Rondy blog just posted.  Between them, as yet unwritten, is the Family Rap group therapy episode.  I’ve written myself into a corner between the adolescent angst and the traumatic healing crisis in which it was all resolved finally.  Something tells me I won’t be able to stay away from Xanga even if I don’t resolve this bind right away.  If all you get from me for a while is photos and fluff, don’t worry, it’s only avoidance.

  
  

  If you want to join my group therapy blogring, I’ll create one.  All you need to do is give me feedback, something to encourage me to revisit the angst and anger and humiliation and pain of the past, so I can get on with this gut-spilling process.  Oh, and also… tell me which of my current blogrings to drop so I can start the group therapy ring…please?  The only reason I have ever even considered starting another Xanga account was so that I could be in more blogrings.  I wannabe in everyone’s clique.

  
  

  Apparently, my new nutritional regimen is effective.  I have not felt this well in years.  If you speak astrologese and have read the astro-data blog, you may recall the curse/blessing pattern in my life.  Intensity is the thing that modulates, life goes from quiet to busy for me, never from good to bad.  When one thing falls apart in my life, something else comes together; it has always been that way.  Every cloud in my life has a silver lining; every rose for me has a thorn.

  
  

  Now, at a time when my body, which has been severely dysfunctional, is working better and hurting less, my mind is in turmoil.  This comes as no surprise to me.  It’s all connected.  I let a lot of the mental/emotional bullshit slide because the physical bullshit was taking all my attention, and now I have to deal with it.  That’s in real life, here and now.  In my memoirs, it’s that other issue, another mental hurdle to clear.  Stay tuned.  I’m at a cusp.  I recognize it.  Life’s getting interesting on all levels.

  
  

  .

  
  

  Postscript, Wednesday, 6AM:

  
  

  Surprize!  After writing this last night, I stayed up and before Greyfox’s video double feature of the day was over (it was Death to Smoochie and Murder by Numbers), I had started writing the group therapy episode.  It’s in the can, plus one that comes right after it.

  
  

  There was only one surprise for me in our local election.  Bev Masek, our State House representative, despite a conspicuous absence from legislative sessions and the campaign trail, was re-elected.  Just a few weeks ago, she made an appointment with an Anchorage TV news crew for an interview to talk about her absences from work, and she failed to show for the interview.  My fellow Alaskans, IMFFHO, carry their party loyalty too far.

  
  

  Oh… and it surprised me, too, as we left the polls yesterday, to learn that I got a vote for State Senator.  The incumbent was running unopposed, and to avoid voting for him, Greyfox cast a write-in vote for ME!  He said it was down to between me and Turd Ferguson.  I won that one, anyway.   

  • 10:14 am
  • 19 Comments