September 24, 2002
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What the Old Fart is to me (part one)
Edited, revised and updated November 10, 2005.
Owllykat asked if my “old fart” Greyfox, Xanga’s ArmsMerchant,
is my lover. I could answer, “yes”, and leave it at that, but
where’s the fun in that? He’s so much more to me than that.
He’s my life’s greatest challenge, enigma, and constant source of
surprises.
This silver-haired double Libran Pennsylvania Dutch member of the
Muscogee Nation is my soulmate, too. He has my butterfly moniker
tattooed on his arm. He has kokopelli on his chest, also, but
that’s another story.We met in a strange enough way. He was in Pennsylvania, in a
3-piece suit, with a career in state government. He had only
just recently been drawn into earth religions and his shamanic
initiation. Fox came to him in a vision, a wet, bedraggled Fox,
and this man whose mother calls him Jim (in the Southern, two-syllable,
way: Gee-yum), let Fox in, changed his name to Greyfox, and
began editing and publishing The Shaman Papers, a little newsletter to
help him learn more about his calling.I was in my little place just across the highway from here, earning
my living with mail order readings, “fortunetelling” booths at several
summer festivals [I don't use that word, am not a fortuneteller, but it
is often applied to me], and a subsistence lifestyle. Doug
was in third grade. I had a request for a reading from the
publisher of another small pagan newsletter, The Graverobber’s
Gazette. He was so happy with my work that he wrote a favorable
review and gave me a free full-page ad in his newsletter.Greyfox had a reciprocal subscription arrangement with TGG and he
saw the ad and review there. He wrote to me for a reading.
It was a brief reality check and he says it was so spot-on that it
seemed as if I’d been reading his mail. Because I didn’t demand
cash payment and because he was a cheapskate, he mailed me a box of
stuff for barter that included some beautiful crazy lace agate he had
tumble-polished himself, and crayfish pickled in formaldehyde.He wrote to me again with some specific questions. That was
December, 1989. I was using a Canon Typestar word processor with
a 12-volt adapter, same as my radio and the rest of my electrical
system, powered by car batteries that I kept charged with a small Toro
generator. The light was propane and the heat was wood just as it
had been since 1983 when Charley and Doug and I moved to the Su Valley
from Anchorage. I was in the same brainwave state I usually work
in, Theta, just typing whatever comes into my head, much like blogging.This is one of those scenes that exist in memory with surreal
clarity. I had a tin of hard Christmas candies open and was
sucking on a raspberry drop. I had answered all his questions and
finished proofreading before taking a second look at his letter to see
if there was anything I’d missed. The thought came into my mind,
“this guy needs love.” Just as quickly as that, I heard my voice
answering, “I love him.”My policy, when I do readings, is to leave nothing out. If a
client has no specific questions, I ask Spirit what the client most
needs to know. When they do have questions, I always finish off
the session by asking Spirit if there is anything else the subject
needs to know that wasn’t asked. Whatever comes into my mind, I
express. I knew it was a bizarre and risky thing to do, but it’s
part of my deal with The Universe: to tell it all and tell it
true. So I added a brief, handwritten PS to the bottom of his
typewritten reading: “I love you.”Following that, the two of us had a series of compelling dreams
about past lives we’d spent together, and did a few intense past life
regressions. Our letters shifted from a professional relationship
to a personal one. After about four months, he phoned
me. We both had big phone bills for a few months after
that. Then around the end of June, he visited us and stayed
through July. In the middle of August, Doug and I flew to
Harrisburg to help him move up here.Greyfox had two vehicles, a GMC Jimmy 4WD, and a sweet little Fiat
X1/9. He was trying to sell the Fiat, had it parked at the curb
with a “for sale” sign, when it was rear-ended and its frame
bent. He collected the insurance on it. Then he got cold
feet about moving to Alaska. He was ready to buy Doug and me
plane tickets home because I refused to move to PA. I suggested
he give me the Fiat, instead. I had already promised Doug an
educational trip across the US.I was all packed, with camping gear for our trip, when Greyfox again
changed his little Libra mind and decided he’d go with us after
all. We were still in Harrisburg around the end of October.
This was 1990, in case you lost track of time there. The three of
us drove to Winchester, VA, where Greyfox and I got married, and then
took Doug trick-or-treating. On this coming Halloween, we will
celebrate our twelfth anniversary. [November, 2005 update:
this past Halloween, we observed our fifteenth anniversary.]
On
election day in November of 1990, Doug and I left headed south in the
Fiat, to visit Mammoth Cave and follow scenic Route 50 west through
Indian mound country. I loved that car, still do. If I get
rich, I’ll get her running again. Greyfox had some loose ends to
tie up and an appointment with his shamanic mentor Crow in Indiana to
get a new tattoo or two. He said he would meet us at Custer State
Park, S.Dakota in three weeks. Doug and I visited museums,
natural wonders, Indian ruins and other attractions and traveled the
back roads all the way.Greyfox’s style of travel is to enter an Interstate as if it were a
tunnel and stay there until he’d reached his destination. He did
show up on time, just in time to miss the annual Bison Roundup and
Auction, but Doug and I had been there for two days, just
serendipitously arriving at the time of the big annual event. The
photo above was taken in Custer State Park. The burro banditos
had been grazing on a hillside above the road when we stopped at a wide
place to put together some sandwiches for lunch. As soon as we
stopped they came over looking for handouts. If memory serves, we
violated park rules by giving them some bread.
We
were in our tent at the campground in the park, downwind of an elk
carcass a pair of neighboring campers had hung in a tree (it was
hunting season), when Greyfox pulled in. He was crying with
nervous relief at having made the rendezvous and found us. He
told a story of getting lost trying to get off the Interstate in Rapid
City and on the road to Custer State Park. [2005 update: It
was his usual histrionic hyperbole, but at the time neither of us knew
anything about the grandiosity of Narcissistic Personality
Disorder.] The next day when we broke camp, we went together to
Bear Lodge (Devil’s Tower, the rubble at the base of which is in the
pic above) where Greyfox communed with the spirits and picked up litter, while Doug
climbed on the rocks and I marveled at the geology of the place.
I don’t recall discussing it with either of the guys at the time, but I
noticed then that each of the three of us was on a distinctly different
trip together.Our next big destination, a place we were all drawn to, was Chaco
Canyon, New Mexico. In PA we had marked a route on the map, based
on my desire and Greyfox’s stated interest for visiting some of my
favorite places in the Rockies. Somehow, he missed the fact that
the route crossed and recrossed the Continental Divide a dozen
times. Actually, we had even talked about that fact but he failed
to register that The Continental Divide was “in the mountains”.
Maybe his Xanax had something to do with that. He also neglected
to mention to me that he hated driving on narrow winding roads.
The first time he said a word about that, we were near the Continental
Divide at Red Mountain Pass above Silverton, Colorado, where there is a
shrine memorializing the snowplow drivers who have perished on the pass
in the line of duty.Either way from there, it was hundreds of miles of mountain roads to
anywhere at all. He white-knuckled it and the three of us had our
usual diverse reactions to Mesa Verde and Chaco Canyon. We all
knew we had lived there before, and in addition to recalling vivid
memories of past lives spent in those places, Greyfox had a night-time
encounter in the snow with a skunk that sauntered down the middle of
the road ahead of him, looking back occasionally over its shoulder as
if to say, “follow me.” Skunk [coincidentally?] is one of Doug’s
shamanic power animals.After Chaco, we went to Balloon Fest in Gallup (just as when we
arrived at Custer in time for the annual roundup and auction, we didn’t
know we’d come to Gallup at Balloon Fest until we got there and tracked
down what was apparently the last available motel room), and then to
Phoenix and put Doug on a plane to Alaska in time to spend Christmas
with his dad and get back to school after New Year.Then Greyfox and I started the second phase of our
honeymoon. The original plan (pre-wreck and pre-marriage) had
been that he would sell the Fiat and we would all go North together in
November, but his cold feet had left us with two vehicles to ferry
north and a compromise plan for Greyfox and me to spend the winter in
the Southwest and go north the following spring.Right this moment (at the time of original posting, in 2002),
Fellowship of the Ring is cued up on the VCR and my two guys are
waiting for me. They will continue to wait while I get myself a
snack and join them, but I don’t think I can stretch their patience
much more than that. Does anyone want me to continue the
honeymoon story later?
Comments (18)
gee…what a question….of course we do
I love kokopelli. I have one on my desk
Have a beautiful day.
I would like to hear the honeymoon story. Do you do readings anymore? If no, could you just make some good stuff up about me and send it my way.
If everyone on xanga paired up it would be interesting.
Please do finish – your stories intrigue me as no others have been able to. Hope you enjoyed the movie!
Yes, please, the honeymoon story!
Did you like the movie? Spot
::waving frantically:: I do, I do!!!! Please tell the rest of the story!!!
Um, I know I haven’t spoken with you recently. I lost your phone number and much has happened… E-mail me if you want to catch up.
do libras really change their little minds a lot?
more, more, more!
First off, gooood movie. Secondly, I love the story, it’s as if I could actually see the scenery. What beautiful places to see! It definetly seems, even to little ole me, that you and Greyfox were meant to be together. Also, I would love a reading, if your still up for it. I will write you soon, telling you of my progress with the tapes, and I will discuss everything more in detail then. Much love to you and yours.
my sweetheart is a libran and i can tell you for a fact that they change their mind a lot. one hell of a lot. id love to hear the rest of this story as im a virgo and i need more tips on how to handle a libran
my sweetheart is a libran and i can tell you for a fact that they change their mind a lot. one hell of a lot. id love to hear the rest of this story as im a virgo and i need more tips on how to handle a libran
My husband’s birthday is All-Hallow’s Eve…and hell,yes, I want to hear the honeymoon story! ;-D*HUGS* * Pax~Z
Here I am…tagging along behind everyone…wagging my tail happily in my wake.
You know…life doesn’t get much better than sucking on a Christmas raspberry drop. That’s a little bit of heaven in and of itself.
I’d love to tour the US by car…most of the places you mentioned…the areas at least…intrigue me. I think it’s the wide open spaces…the history. I love walking around a historical site and trying to envision what was.
what a great story! I’m glad you linked and updated, somehow I missed it.
:wave:
Always been a sucker for a ‘ true Love story ‘
Nice article and great knowledge. Thanks for the
share. I love this story and enjoy with your words!
Tacoma Roofers
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font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”;
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}