June 15, 2002
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This started as a comment on some of your comments. Then I found two typos and decided to bring it out here. One way I can tell I’ve hit a hot topic is when nearly every comment contains the phrase, “I believe.” In the recent past, I held strong beliefs in this area and made cogent arguments for them. I’ve been asked a few times during this series of blogs, “Do you believe…?” It challenges me to sort what I know now from what I have believed.
I’m with LuckyStars’s daughter in my willingness to get my feet wet if necessary to solve the mysteries surrounding how and why people die. When Greyfox goes to rotten.com and finds a particularly interesting accident or autopsy photo, I come and look over his shoulder with interest and without emotion. Sometimes I wish I could get a better angle or closer view. I’m interested in morbidity, and I’m hip enough to psychological realities and the complexities of my own mind, that I won’t try to claim that it is NOT a morbid interest.
My youth was largely a struggle to stay alive, to forestall my premature death. Now that I am mature, quality of life has taken precedence over survival. I don’t view my own death with dread. If the kid and the old fart were to die both at once, material survival would be a struggle again, and I’d be doing a lot more venting and intimate schmoozing with my neighbors and online friends to take up the slack in their absence.
I would grieve. Even many animals besides humans show grief when another being close to them is suddenly lifeless. But I would not mourn their deaths. I would have no cause to regret saying things I didn’t mean, or neglecting to tell them how I love and appreciate them. I hope nobody mourns my death when I’m gone. After having created a legacy of healing and teaching, and a line of interesting descendants, I’d love to just slip from this world and leave hardly a ripple in passing. If a few people will be glad to see me gone, so much the better, eh?
Comments (8)
Can I go before you go? I wanna kick your ass when you arrive on the other side.
heh …
I LOVE YOU! heh ehehe ehe … [is laughing hysterically at the thought of you coming up thru the tunnel and me standing there, hands on hips, foot tapping impatiently ... and you all joyous and dancing again ... weeeeeeeeeeeee!]
It also occurred to me that I’m not out propping the hell outta so many peeps these days. I read my daily subscription digest when I get home from work, and my days off are spent catching up on laundry, shopping … etc.
Wish my connect wasn’t so slow … this ride around Xanga would be more fun. Anyway, here’s two, and Yeah,
I do read you. Every time you say sumpthin.
A few times.
I dont think its a morbid interest – but just a curiosity that is inbuilt in humans – some people can handle death and dying and others can’t – Dusk
On grieving vs. mourning – there is a distinct difference, IMO. Grieving is pain of no longer having that person with you physically…mourning is sorrow that they have left the physical realm.
I grieve for my mother – but that grief is really for me, trying to make a go of my life without her guidance. I do not mourn her – because she is in a place where her ears work and she can walk and dance and wipe her own behind without assistance.
Does that make sense? Or should I not try to comment on deep subjects after having a few drinks with friends after work?
I have never fought particularly hard to stay alive except when I was suffering from depression. Luckily I’ve never been suicidal, and keep to myself enough not to be offered suicide substitutes like hard drugs when feeling vulnerable.
Death? Pshaw. Yeah, from dust to dust. Everyone’s gonna die, yadda yadda. That makes the human lifetime both poignant and ridiculous. I don’t see any meaning behind life apart from what we attach to it. Heck, I’m not even sure any of this is real. Maya, don’tcha know. Grin and bear it.
Does this qualify as a comment on your blog? Idaknow. :p
I believe I’ll have another doughnut…
One thing that’s always kept me here…no matter how bad things may seem…is the thought that someone, somewhere might be pleased at my passing. Heh…I’m stubborn like that.
Just wanted to take a minute and thank you for not only your blogs, but also comments on my blogs. Your openness as well as the many common threads of our lives have me visiting your site more than any other. -Kristy
You do write some very interesting things.
Glad you stopped by and left a comment on my site, thank you.