May 8, 2002

• I pulled my own tooth last night–ok, I exaggerate–it was only half a tooth.

  
  

  My dentist told me, last time I saw him before he moved away to a warmer climate, that tooth resorption is part of this autoimmune syndrome I have.  I looked it up and found some references to bone resorption.  Thus forewarned I wasn’t too surprised a few months ago when one of my upper bicuspids split down the middle.  Each half had a root of its own.  One side seemed firmly rooted, but the other half was loose.

  
  

  Each time pressure was applied, pain resulted.  I used the painswitch to shut it off (http://cosmiverse.folksites.com/painswitch).  A few times before I learned to chew cautiously a hard impact with a tooth in my lower jaw made half my face explode in pain.  I managed from time to time to get a grip with thumb and forefinger on the loose half of the tooth, but even though I could wiggle it, a straight downward pull met resistance and my fingers slipped off the tooth.  I knew my tool kit contained some small jewelry pliers that would have provided a firmer grip, but I was squeamishly leaving them for a last resort.

  
  

  I told myself that I’d eventually have to go to a new dentist if this tooth didn’t drop out on its own.  Without insurance, that means cash payment at time of service.  The family needs a new used vehicle, the old fart needs surgery for his hernias, and the summer earning season is just beginning.  Business is slow due to bad weather.  In short, there has been no money for dental care so I was off the hook on that one.  In general, I like dentists no more than I like medical doctors.  Personally, I have nothing against them.  Professionally, some of them have done significant harm to me and I tend to avoid them all as much as I can.

  
  

  I never left the loose bit of tooth alone.  My tongue was always realigning it when food pushed it painfully askew.  Crumbs got between the halves sometimes–I brushed a lot more than usual, often in the middle of a meal.  Over the past several days I noticed it was loosening.  I started imagining it dropping out in my sleep and choking me.  Last night I got a fingertip grip on it again, and pulled.   It still resisted a straight downward pull, so I twisted, and out it came.

  
  

  For the first time in months, I can bite down without that sharp sensation of a stab up into my eye socket.   I floated off to sleep on a pink cloud of euphoria.  Endorphins that had flooded my system for months suddenly had no pain chemicals to counter.  They sent my consciousness soaring oh so high.  Upon awakening today, without the old discomfort to call my attention to it, I just lay there at ease a while before I even remembered that those months of constant unease punctuated by occasional agony were gone.

  
  

  I feel triumphant, liberated.  I know it was just one of many difficulties in my life and now other, lesser pains will get my attention.  For now, though, I’m happy.

  
  

   

  • 12:32 pm
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