December 4, 2010
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Cleaning out the Closet
I don’t know if this is a bee in my bonnet or a burr under my saddle. I only know that I’ve been carrying it around for too long. Despite my efforts to just let it go, and some temporary success at that, it recurs to me at odd moments. If there’s a chance that venting can help me get rid of it for good, it’s worth a try.
Years ago, soon after I moved onto the power grid and got internet access, I was participating in several bulletin board type forums. Each one was focused on some interest of mine or on a personal matter on which I could use some support. One of that latter type was devoted to fibromyalgia support, and the other – the one where my burr/bee originated – was all about eating disorders.
I had multiple food allergies and addictions and had only recently learned from an authoritative source, the fact that food allergies often manifest as addictions to the offending foods. I posted a note to that effect in an appropriate forum. The following day, my post had been removed and I had a message from a moderator warning me that two more such infractions would result in my being permanently banned.
Naively, innocently, I messaged the mod, questioning just what the precise nature of my infraction had been. I was directed to a post stating that eating disorders are psychological in nature, the result of emotional needs and/or issues with power and control. My reaction to that was this thought: “Well, yes, that’s a widespread belief, and possibly partially accurate, but its universality is being discredited and discarded by the leading edge of expert opinion.”
I did wonder why this website for eating disorders was not conversant with that cutting edge, state-of-the-art scientific opinion. I messaged the mod a question to that effect. The reply I received evaded the question and simply told me that if I continued to write posts that could “trigger” other members, I would be banned.
The philosophy of this psychological eating disorder (ED) forum was that, if one works through the traumatic experiences and psychological issues underlying the anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating, then ED will be dead and one will be free to eat “normally.” I kept on participating in the forums, lending support to the friends I’d formed there, and trying to derive some help in my own abstinence. I tried to stick to their rules, even though they made no sense to me. Then, in a general open forum, I encountered a thread, “What will you eat when ED is dead?”
I couldn’t help noticing that literally every food listed, without exception, by the various participants, contained one or more of the known addictive peptides. I added a little note to the thread, pointing out that fact, and included the link to a page of info on addictive foods. Of course, that post was removed and I was warned that I would be banned the next time I posted anything that could trigger the members’ EDs.
That was enough for me. I figured that the admin and/or mods had their egos deeply invested in their psychological philosophy, and were either sincerely convinced that any other perspective or approach would be ineffective or harmful to their clients, or were unwilling to risk a realization that their professional standings and personal reputations might be based on erroneous, incomplete, or obsolete information. I quit participating in that forum before I was banned, and soon I had quit doing that forum-thread thing and started blogging, where I could have more freedom of expression.
I thought that it didn’t matter to me which motivation applied to those ED “experts:” selfish, ego-based fears, or well-intentioned delusion. I must have cared more about that question than I realized at the time. If not, then I wouldn’t keep wondering about it at odd moments when something triggers a memory. As I have been writing this, I might have found my own solution. I think it likely that it was not either/or, but both/and, as well as a few other probable motivations.
With that insight, I hope this issue will go away for me. I suspect that the issue, the problem, the philosophical difficulty, and the ED, will not go away for the ones caught in that fishy mindset.
Comments (4)
I definitely crave things that aren’t good for me. I did a 21-day very strict detox last year and slowly reintroduced foods after it, and found some surprising food intolerances/allergies. Yet did I stop eating those foods??? No. I restrict, but not well enough. I thoroghhly agree it is a degree of addiction… that and social pressures.
It’s unfortunate that the mods of that particular group were not willing to benefit from your research and knowledge. I suppose the only solution would have been to start your own group and just post a link in that one for anyone who was willing to explore more than one ED philosophy. I suppose they would just have removed it. So much for freedom of expression.
I’ve become more interested in food addictions lately (once again,) another phase of mine as I’m sure you remember when I was on my candidiasis and sugar addiction kick. I purchased a home detox meal plan from one of my favourite kitchen gurus and also a different meal plan, a “28 day boot camp” that is designed to weed out food sensitivies. I’ve spent the money but of course have not had the discipline or wherewithal to actually attempt the meal plans. The story of my life. Someday perhaps I’ll get it and put my money where my research is. If you are interested in having me send the files to you that I purchased, for your own curiousity’s sake, just email me at reachrenhere@gmail.com and I’ll be happy to send them to you. xo
I remember recently skimming an article either from the BBC or CNN that talked about how consuming sugar carved neural pathways that created needs and desires and URGES that were similar to other types of drug addictions. Don’t quote me on the specific terminology because I can’t remember it, but I got the gist of the article and it totally made sense to me. I can dig it up for you if you would like. It makes TOTAL sense. Sugar is a drug, a drug, a drug and we are learning so much more about food addictions and body chemistry. It seems silly that the mod would just delete your post like that. What ever happened to open lines of communication? Some people need to read information of that sort. I know if I am consuming sugar it completely messes me up, in every way and makes me prone to all kinds of other addictions. Bah.
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