December 23, 2008
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There, but for…
The sun is down, but it is not quite full dark yet. Doug and I just got back from a trip up to Sunshine, the Talkeetna Y, where the road turns off to Talkeetna. Recently, a new store opened there, Cubby’s Marketplace, neither a supermarket nor a big box store, too small (or maybe too soon after opening) to have a motorized crip cart for me, and big enough that I was worn out before I got around it using a shopping cart as my walker.
I was pretty happy when I learned that we would have a shopping option closer to home. Those 50 mile shopping trips into Wasilla burn a lot of gas and take a lot of stamina for me to get through one. In winter, I either leave home before dawn or get home after dark, or both. I probably won’t be doing much shopping at Cubby’s, though. Even if I didn’t have a love interest waiting for me at the end of that road to Wasilla, there’s economy to consider. Cubby’s appears to be just another country store with illusions of big-box status. Selection is limited and prices are high. Many things are about 20% higher than at Jack’s little store, which is even closer to home for me. I’m hoping Cubby’s won’t drive Jack out of business.
As Doug and I were unpacking and putting away our purchases, we were discussing the new store and the people we saw there. I recognized almost all the employees. Cubby’s just became the biggest local employer in an area with virtually no industry and a predominantly summer-seasonal tourism economy. Many had gone to school with Doug or were parents of kids who went to school with him. He said, “Yes. There, but for crippling social ineptitude, go I.”
He’s right, as far as it goes, I guess. There’s more to it, of course. There’s also lack of transportation, ADHD, congenital familial hardcore unemployability….
Comments (9)
Fifty miles to a store? Wow! It’s not like you can say, “We need milk” and run down the hill to the grocery store like we do here. And to think…I sometimes complain about the ten minute drive…
I need to find time to finish reading your memoirs because I have not caught up to the part where Doug was born or the reasons why you would need a walker or cart. Alas, it will have to wait until after the holidays I suppose. Take care and have a great night (or is it day there?)
@moondancer555 -
You’re right. I have to plan ahead and make sure I have a comprehensive shopping list when I go to town. I try to get enough supplies for six weeks to two months each trip. Last time, I lost my list between two stores and came home minus dog biscuits, TP, and a few other things, which was the main reason we went up to Cubby’s today. If I run out of one or two important items, there’s a general store nearby, but the prices are about 3x what I’d pay in Wasilla, and I’m likely to get eggs or milk that are out of date. Impulse purchases are rare events for us.
The memoirs have not yet gotten to where Doug was born. The part written so far ends not long after I met his father. You can learn about my physical limitations here.
Well I suppose it was something to be seen at least once. I hope it doesn’t put your little local store out of biz either. Crippling social ineptitude? Lol…sounds like it could apply to me….
i thought it was nightime all winter there,,, with just maybe a peek of sun,,, but then,,, i did live in montana which wasnt like that,,, and alaska really isnt that much farther north,,, hahahaha
Farther north, above the Arctic Circle, it gets dark in November and stays Dark until late January… and I’m almost as far south of there as Montana is south of here.
Wow that is a long drive for you ~ make your list and check it twice
Merry Christmas!
How have you prepared Doug to live on his own?
Emotionally, physically, financially is he prepared and capable of taking care of himself?
I am quite seriously curious.
@mysticalchild -I always, during his childhood, let him make as many choices for himself as he reasonably could, and gave him as much responsibility as he could handle. Teachers and school administrators took the same approach with him.
He had the brains to skate through school without much effort, right up through senior year, when it became evident that he would need another four required courses to graduate. He always tested out okay, but some of his courses also required homework and he was not compliant.
He stayed in school. He rode the bus in every day, took drama, English and science (subjects he liked, but didn’t need credit for), and during his other 4 free periods he read or used the computer in the library and gave homework help to students who needed it. In evenings I supervised his correspondence work for the history, social studies and math credits he needed to graduate.
We have talked about his need for independence a lot during his lifetime, since nobody expected me to live as long as I have. As things stand now, he is better prepared to survive without me than I am to do without him, but I’m confident that either of us could find a way to get by without the other if we had to.
The thing about Doug that gives me the most assurance that he will make it is that he always comes through in a crisis. All his life, he has (in a manner typical of an old soul) been very casual, even careless, about things that concern most people, but when the chips are down, the house is on fire, the tent blowing away, a moose stomping the dog, he grabs the extinguisher, the flapping edge of the broken zipper, or the .44 mag, and does what needs to be done, quickly and efficiently.
Emotionally, he has always been self-sufficient. He’s a Leo, born in the year of the Cock. That “crippling social ineptitude” is actually a joke… or an excuse. His asocial attitude is more a matter of personal preference than anything. He has a few close relationships and cordial relations with many people, online and IRL, but I don’t think he values most relationships very highly. He is content to have a few close ones with people he appreciates, who appreciate him.
Physically, there are no household or survival-related tasks around here that he does not already do. He is strong, and as fit as anyone can be who refuses to eat a balanced diet or exert himself to exercise beyond the strenuous requirements of hauling water, chopping and carrying wood, shoveling snow, etc. He was six or seven years old when he started learning to swing an axe. He has been cooking longer than that and has considered cooking or baking as a job, if he ever needs a job.
If he would learn to pay more attention to the woodstove than he does to his games, he would be able to keep a fire going. I have been trying to teach him to drive. He has a lot of GTA skilz to unlearn before he’ll be able to take his driving test. I will not go out with him when the roads are icy, until he is proficient on dry pavement, and his driving lessons so far have been limited to summertime.
He is proficient and creative in graphic design and writing.
He is better than average at coding text, but has no interest in
programming. I can see him succeeding as an entrepreneur, but not as a
wage slave.
Financially, our lifestyle has prepared him to get by without much money. That’s the best I can do, and all I really care to do. Money is a convenience, but many things in life are more important.
Does this satisfy your curiosity? Now, I’m curious — were you aware that Doug is 27 years old? …and that his and my IQs are both in the high 99th percentile? (99.99 and 99.94, respectively) …and really, seriously, what is your concern in this matter?