I’m going to copy and paste what I sent someone in an email. It’s related to etiquette, after they told me that I should learn some manners:

“To me, the term “manners” simply connotes being respectful to the other person. Email is a very ‘flat’ form of communication in that it lacks body language, physical presence and vocal intonation. If you and I were to read the same email, we could get very different vibes from it. Infact, those vibes could warp the original sentiment entirely. For example, perhaps you thought it to be a passive-aggressive attack when I said, “[sensitive info. deleted]” Maybe you thought I was blaming you for that, because you were sick and I hadn’t been able to get anything done. Such misinterpretations are common.
 
Alternately, if by manners you mean ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’, I try not to overuse those terms. Etiquette is more about social cohesion and custom than sincerity, so frankly, I don’t give it much credence. I’ve never been one to adhere too closely to sociocultural norms. But know that I respect you as a person and I do appreciate your assistance, even if I don’t always verbalize that appreciation.  If you’d like me to express when I genuinely appreciate your assistance via. the old standard (‘please’ and ‘thankyou’), then I’ll do that for you.”

She’s being paid for that assistance mentioned, which was a quick question. But in her career, she seems to get something fulfilling out of a polite show of respect.

And I wonder: do other people actually get a kick out of your Alaskan lady’s “sweet mask” and her bullshit etiquette? Or do they see right through it? Her “hidden” vitriolic nature might say something about the environment in which she grew up. It’s probably hurting her more than it’s hurting anyone else.

Growing up, I never lied. I was also far too compassionate and empathetic; almost Ghandi or Mother Teresa style. For example: I hadn’t eaten for a day or two, and the prospect of eating regularly didn’t seem in sight, I had no income, yet I often gave what little money I had away to people who didn’t really even need it. It was ridiculous.

My ethical system changed, and my behaviour changed to fit in with the world around me. Now I play my life like a chess game. I’ll sometimes lie (usually via. a distortion of the truth when I can get away with it) to get whatever I percieve as being the most favourable outcome, or for subtle forms of self-protection – fundamentally grounded in insecurity, I think. And I don’t feel guilt anymore. At all. It could just be because I don’t violate my own ethics.

I wonder which category my behaviour falls under?

The interesting thing is that most people I know are [supposed to be] operating under ethical systems which expressely forbid the kind of behaviour I’m inclined to exhibit these days, and yet they do these kind of things moreso than I do.

Deception can often be viewed in the light of someone compensating for their insecurity and vulnerability. I know that’s how I use it. 

For example, a politician is insecure abotu whether or not he’ll win the election. He stretches the truth and makes a series of false promises to get into office.

A pharmacutical company is worried that it won’t make as much money as it wants to bring in this year. It’s (the CEO’s and such) are feeling fundamentally insecure. Their concern is based on insecurity (“Will I have enough money?”). To compensate, they embark on a campaign of misleading doctors, who mislead their patients, which leads to widespread overdiagnosis and excessively using medication on the general population as the solution for a certain condition.

You get the idea. It’s based on a desire for security. Solution? I’m not sure. Go Buddhist? lol. fear-based emotions are just how most people operate, myself included, *most* of the time.