June 13, 2008

• Everyday Insanity

  Anyone who has never had the benefit of time spent in an exemplary, psychologically sound, drug rehab program, or in psychotherapy with a reputable and knowledgeable therapist, probably will not realize how much ordinary everyday psychopathology is expressed in his or her own personality.  Without such experience, it is much easier to observe other people’s craziness than to see one’s own.

  Anyone who has had the benefit of good psychotherapy, or who has been trained as a therapist, will recognize psychopathology in the behavior and interactions of nearly everyone he or she encounters socially, in the workplace, and online.  One of the craziest ironies in our society is that those who have undergone treatment for mental illness are stigmatized and can be legally discriminated against in housing, education, and employment, and yet the odds are good that such a person is generally more mentally healthy than most people who have never been treated for mental illness.

  In case it’s not obvious, the pathology I’m talking about here isn’t severe psychotic stuff or the products of organic brain damage or congenital abnormalities.  I am referring to those things that once were called neuroses and are now defined largely within DSM-IV’s Axis  II, along with a few from Axis I.  I can’t cover all of those disorders today, and I won’t be zeroing in on any particular disorder.  Instead, I’m targeting a behavior that is always a distinct observable marker for some sort of underlying psychopathology:  defensiveness.

  Briefly, defensiveness is an argument or smokescreen that is thrown up to deny, rationalize or justify some past event, or past or present behavior, that a person either feels is wrong, or has been programmed to believe is socially unacceptable, or simply does not want to examine because there is some guilt or psychological trauma associated with it.  One example:  suppose a group of women are discussing breastfeeding and one of them speaks up in defense of bottle feeding even though nobody has mentioned it or criticized the practice.  She (a) bottle fed her child or children (or intends to) and (b) feels either guilty or unfairly stigmatized for doing so.

  Therapists love to see defensiveness.  It is like finding an end sticking out of a snarled ball of yarn; it gives us a starting point.  We are trained to look for and recognize it, and some of us are trained to poke around and try to bring it out.   One reason it can please a therapist to observe defensiveness is that it signals some awareness, even if subconscious, of a problem.  People who are not defensive about their pathologies have a whole ‘nother layer of pathology there, and are more difficult to reach.

  If I were being paid to ferret out defensiveness and the sick secrets it guards, I would apply myself wholeheartedly to the task.  Since I’m not being paid to do that, I don’t work at it.  Nevertheless, just in the innocent pursuit of blogging my days away, I inadvertently bring out defensiveness almost every time I write about anything meaningful.

  To try to avoid that would require me to censor myself severely, and even then I probably would be unable to prevent ruffling somebody’s feathers from time to time.  Whenever I write about any issue that has more than one side, even if I don’t come down on one side or the other, somebody usually reacts as if I had taken a position against her.  (Please disregard the gender of pronouns from here on.  Defensiveness is an equal opportunity display of pathology.)

  I can’t help noticing defensiveness when somebody waves it in front of me.  I can, sometimes, and sometimes do, stop myself before I point out to a defensive commenter that her neurosis is showing.  Right about now, several of my readers are wondering if I am aiming this post at them.  A few of my close friends and/or family members are probably pretty sure right now that they are the undisclosed recipients of a pointed message here.  My dears, if the shoe fits, wear it, but please let me assure you that nobody in particular is being targeted here. 

  Anyone who is defensive and knows it, has a head start toward healing or transcending whatever it is that the defensive reaction is covering.  Anyone who is unaware of his defensiveness deserves the favor of having it pointed out to him, but there are all sorts of pitfalls and hazards awaiting a friend or acquaintance who tries to give anyone the benefit of such insight. 

  It is altogether easier and more comfortable for one to work through one’s own defense mechanisms before one starts working on anyone else’s.  Otherwise the friend whose defensiveness you decide to confront might know you well enough to strike back at your own most closely guarded sick secret.  Such things happen every day, as anyone who gets around much on Xanga can attest.

  Any questions?
     

  • 6:49 pm
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