April 11, 2008

• This is a test. (weekly_writers_challenge #3)

  Our Challenge for this week is to write a letter to your younger self. You pick the age. Make it 1000 words or less.
  

  ---

  Hey,

  I am you, only I’m about fourteen or fifteen years in your
  future, and I’ve got some important stuff to tell you.

  You know that little sign that says, “This is a test.”?  Of course you do.  It has been popping into your mind when you
  meditate and in the hypnogogic state for how long now …weeks …months?  How about years?

  Okay, pay attention.  It
  is a test.  This time that you’re going through could be
  pivotal.  I don’t know what would happen
  to you if you fail that test, because I come from a timeline where you came
  through with flying colors and an A+, and I want to make sure you stay on
  course.

  Just hang in there.  I
  know you still sometimes wish you’d flicked that lighter and flambéed that
  stinking miscreant after you poured what was left of his last bottle of vodka all
  over his senseless naked bod, but that would have been arson and murder and
  just plain damned infra dig.

  He’s not going away. 
  I know he said over and over that he would leave just as soon as you two
  have carried through on the commitment for that shamanic seminar you’re planning.  Not only will he not leave afterward, he is
  going to get drunk right in the middle of the thing, turn it into chaos….

  Well, actually, it gets pretty chaotic before he gets drunk,
  and that collection of Xocoman Eagles and Jaguars who show up for the thing couldn’t
  peacefully coexist floating on a pink cloud in Heaven, so don’t beat him to
  death.  It’s just not worth the grief,
  and this is a test, remember?

  When the thing is all over, take a vacation.  Go south for the winter.  Hold it! 
  I know you’re thinking you don’t have the money for that and the kid has
  to go to school and you can’t leave him behind.

  You will have the money to get on your way when the time
  comes, and no matter how it looks a few times on the trip, you will get the
  money you need to get back home next year after breakup is over.  Stop worrying right now because, as I recall,
  the worries were the worst part, the only really bad part of the whole trip.

  There’s no reason to worry about the kid’s school.  The stupid teacher who held him back in 6^th
  grade last year will wait until 6 weeks into the term before he admits there is
  nothing more he can teach him, and he will try to promote him to 7^th
  grade then.

  His principal, and the one at the jr./sr. high, and the
  school counselor, will all recognize the perils in that, and nobody will object
  to your taking him out for a big field trip. 
  You and the kid both know already that he will have more learning
  opportunities that way than he would have sitting in school.

  So, go.  Don’t sweat the
  snow on the mountain passes.  Road
  construction and mud before you get to the passes will be bigger problems. 
  There’s enough room in the front and back trunks, behind the seats, in
  the passenger foot well and on the luggage rack of that X1/9 for all you need
  to take, and putting your pillows in the seat under the kid will give him a
  better view.   Don’t sweat how silly the
  snow shovel looks bungeed on the luggage rack, and keep the wire coat hangers.  You’re right:  you’ll need to dig out and you’ll have to tie
  the Fiat’s muffler back on – more than once.

  Don’t bother taking the microscope.  He’ll never use it.  Use that space for a can of coffee and a few
  packets of Kool-Aid.  You’ll be back on
  sugar and caffeine before you know it and you’ll want to be able to make your
  own drinks to save money.   Don’t
  worry, you’ll do fine.  Hell, you did fine.  It won’t be easy, but it will be fun.  It is okay to skip Disneyland for Joshua
  Tree, but don’t skip Circus Circus in Reno,
  and don’t beat yourself up about risking a few quarters in the slots.  You’re a winner.

  When you get back, you will find a different man here.  He’ll look just like the man you married, but
  he’s not.  You will still need to keep
  confronting his psychopathology and addictive behavior for another decade or so (Oh, stop whining!  You’re good at it, and it’ll be worth it.), and you’ll need to save
  his life a time or two.  Don’t worry
  about being an enabler for his addictions by saving his life.  Give him time but don’t give him any
  slack.  Keep confronting.  It’s no fun, but you’ll thank me, believe me.

  Remember:  THIS IS A
  TEST.  Go for it. You’ve always been good at tests.

  

  • 2:49 pm
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