March 31, 2008
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True Story — Weekly Writers Challenge
The story below, told by my great grandfather Cyrus, was witnessed by him during the California gold rush of 1849. I condensed it.
It is my entry, in 50 words or less, for this very first Weekly Writers Challenge.
Horsemen were riding on a twisting mountain trail through a storm.
Thunder and simultaneous lightning momentarily blinded and
deafened them. Recovering their senses,
they noticed a riderless horse on the trail.Its rider was dead when they found him. Coins in his pocket had fused. His pocketknife was electroplated silver.
Comments (18)
Interesting story. I’ll bet, as told by your great grandfather, it was much more elaborate and detailed.
Of course, he could use all the words he wanted. I love all the old stories from our elders.
poor rider!
That’s condensed all right. It was a dark and stormy night…
excellent story! And it leaves the reader wanting more!
Very nicely formulated… and wow.. how bizarre!
Okay, so what is the WHOLE story now? lol
I am with soul survivor… you left me wanting more.
x
Not bad, had beginning, middle and end.
You have a gift with words.
I love it.
wow….
@Czolya - Sorry. That comment above was intended for another Xangan. That’s what happens when I get up and do something in the middle of going through blogs.
I like your story. Nice work. It’s brevity reminds me of the Hemingway challenge.
That is a poem!!
It’s a poem?
it’s very good anyway. it made me feel cold though, like actually being there in that scene..
xx
So this is a true story? That’s unfortunate for the guy; I’m surprised the horse was okay.
woa, what happened?!?!
well written!!
Cool! Lightening?
That guy got ownd