May 25, 2006

• just a quickie

  Greyfox said a couple of days ago that I should write something here
  because otherwise people would be worried about me.  One person
  did notice my absence, but then she
  and I have an amazingly close connection considering we’ve never met
  and seldom communicate.  My thinking was that if I did write about
  what was going on with me, it might tend to worry one friend or another.

  I’ve had a difficult week or two.  Mostly, it’s just the M.E./CFIDS. 
  Knowing that I had an unusually active day coming up this week, and
  already being sub-par physically, I was conserving energy and staying
  away from the keyboard and other strenuous activities.  Tuesday, I
  went to the clinic for my semi-annual appearance to get the
  prescriptions for the meds that keep me breathing.  Then, I went
  the other direction, down the valley to Wasilla for the N.A. meeting
  celebrating Greyfox’s third “birthday” clean and sober. 

  It’s my clean date too, but my accomplishment was trivial compared to
  his.  I just stopped growing and smoking weed (and breathed a sigh
  of relief at the time), since I’d already quit my lifelong drug of
  choice, sugar, half a year or so before.  Greyfox came off a long
  life-threatening binge and quit alcohol, tobacco and weed all the same
  day, in addition to cutting most of the refined sugar out of his
  diet.  My hero.

  One of my heroes, that is.  Doug’s another.  I have a fresh
  image of him in my mind that will probably stay with me for the rest of
  this life and might come back to me in future lives.  This
  morning, he was standing at the far end of the hallway, in the orange
  glow from the electrically-ignited fire in the bathroom, using the fire
  extinguisher to put it out.

  We both inhaled some toxic smoke, he more than I.  The house still
  reeks of the residue.  I pried loose from the countertop, and Doug
  hauled out to the trash can, a melted-down mass that had once been a
  three-tier plastic storage-bin/organizer thing full of cosmetics,
  toiletries, first aid supplies, combs, brushes, etc.  Among the
  items in the immediate vicinity that were damaged or destroyed was a
  catch-all basket that contained, among other things, eight or ten 12
  gauge shotgun shells that Greyfox had found in the dumpster and I
  hadn’t gotten around to putting into the ammo box.

  The aroma in my house is a pungent blend of petrocarbons, gunpowder,
  and perfume.  I think the loud pop we heard was the air freshener
  can exploding.  The only other obviously exploded object back
  there (the shells were just melted down around the pellets, cementing
  them together) was a big tube of cinnamon toothbrushing gel.

  If I were in better condition, I’d subject you to a detailed blow by
  blow.  I’m exhausted and hadn’t really recovered from Tuesday’s
  town trip before this crisis hit today.  Tomorrow, we have to go
  to the spring for water.  It’s hot as hell here today, record high
  temperatures for this area.  The muskeg across the road where I
  sat on the edge last year and watched the tadpoles grow into frogs is
  so dry this year that I walked out across it today while waiting for
  the fan to clear the smoke out of the house. 

  Last year’s swamp grass is yellow-brown and this year’s growth is
  sparse and just a couple of inches high.  I heard a few frogs
  chirping one evening earlier this month.  Last year their mating
  calls were numerous and continuous for weeks.   …I gotta go
  rest now.  Later.

  • 10:19 pm
  • 13 Comments