February 21, 2006

• I almost wimped out on this.

  I went back and forth in my mind:  should blog — why should I
  bother? — therapeutic — emetic — whatthehell, might as well.

  I pushed myself through the wrap-up of the Kansas end of my adolescence
  memoir because I’d been obsessing over some of the events that happened
  after the move to Texas.  Maybe just recalling that stuff is
  therapeutic.  It felt a lot like reliving trauma.  I don’t
  think I’m going to be able to write about it until I work through the
  feelings.  I suppose that’s what it’s all about.

  Anyway, since I finished up Kansas for now and cleared the boards to
  deal with what came next, I haven’t been thinking about that. 
  This is a relief, and a surprise, in a way.

  There is still a dangling thread in the 1970s, and another in the
  1990s.  At one time I thought that having several memoir threads
  running at one time would help keep me working on it, as I could move
  to another sequence when I ran out of steam on one of them.  It’s
  not working that way.  When I feel like writing, I have a tough
  time deciding where to start, and when I don’t feel like writing I
  don’t write.

  Does it count as writing when I expend four or five paragraphs saying that I feel blocked?
  

  • 2:45 pm
  • 7 Comments