January 15, 2006
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feeling testy
I had to look it up to be sure that “testy” means, as I thought it did, “irritable.”
1510, “impetuous, rash,” from M.E. testif “headstrong” (c.1374), from Anglo-Fr. testif, from O.Fr. testu “stubborn,” lit. “heady,” from teste “head,” from L.L. testa “skull,” in L. “pot, shell” (see tester (2)). Meaning “easily irritated” is first recorded 1526.For the last 480 years or so, it has
been so. Impetuous, rash, headstrong and stubborn are also words
that have been applied to me, so I guess I’m safe in any case.I am making an attempt to be more precise, more clear about what I mean
when I write. It is probably a futile attempt. Some people
don’t read very thoroughly, it seems. One or two words trigger
some association and they leave a comment that triggers a reaction from
me. At least we’re all safe here, since no matter how irritable I
am, how irritated I get, the most potent weapon at my disposal here is
sarcasm. Nobody was ever maimed or killed by a sarcastic jab.Not only have I been feeling irritable, easily perturbed, I have been
labile and hypersensitive, right on the edge of tears or laughter all
the time. Seasonal affective disorder would be a facile
diagnosis, if it were not for the laughter. I’m not
depressed. I’m edgy, touchy, all nerve-ends exposed. The
irritability, I think, is my own feeling, the product of my
neurochemistry. But it is also possible that I’m picking up on
the irritability of the people closest to me. I am close to a
couple of irritable guys, after all.Empathy is surely an element in this labile phase (it has gone on too
long to call it a mood). It is the stories and experiences of
others more than anything else that have moved me to laughter or tears
lately. There have been a few things going on in my life, too,
and I feel them, respond to them with appropriate emotions and
consistent expressions of what I’m feeling. They are just no more
significant to me, have no more impact on me, than other people’s
feelings.I have gone through similar phases before. Long ago, these
feelings would frighten me. Unable to understand where they came
from, I’d think I was going insane. The thing that makes it more
comfortable now is my awareness that these are not, strictly speaking,
“my” feelings. I can relax and accept what I sense and feel more
readily than I could when I was younger. It’s another of the
attributes of aging that I can appreciate and applaud, along with not
having to shave my legs any more. The disappearance of the hair
on my legs sorta makes up a little bit for the thinning hair on my
head, just as my increased understanding and self- awareness help
compensate for the lapses of memory and the greater difficulty I now
have in learning new skills.As the Old Fart would say, it all balances out.
Comments (8)
Testy is a good word for it… I do understand and empathize with that edgy or on the edge feeling… Kathy do you think we can choose our emotions? or just choose how we react to them?… I’d honestly like your opinion
Me – I think we condition ourselves to most emotions but we can most difinately choose our reactions:toung:
OMG….there comes a time in our lives when we don’t have to shave our legs? Oh please may it be soon for me
I completely understand the testy and grouchy periods….could it be menstrual, even if you don’t have that anymore? I work with several women who have had those parts removed or have gone through the change, yet they still experience the psychological side effects of it month-to-month. A curse indeed, eh?
Hope you are feeling non-grumpy soon
are the guys irritable or irritating?
me? i’m just beyond testy and irritable at this point.
a pasture and a gun sounds like a heavenly release.
i know this back thing will go away but…good night…now would be good.
meh. let’s just all get grumpy together.
have a grumpfest. kind of like woodstock. only without the really good music. and without the mud. unless it’s mudslinging. i could do that. yes’m.
hope your mood lightens, kathy.
hope everyone everywhere finds some relief soon.
there is so much that science has yet to discover… I am fully convinced that many women (myself included) suffer from the same “out of sorts” syndrome such as you described. Years from now, I predict they’ll even have a scientific name for it… and medication that will supposedly alleviate symptoms… which of course won’t work on us because we’ll have an atypical variation.
“Nobody was ever maimed or killed by a sarcastic jab.” I like that.
And I sympathize. I’ve been pretty testy myself these days, and it’s not fun.
But man, losing the hair on my legs… That would be heaven!
I often get testy, too.
And then there’s that volcano that’s about – - what? 180 miles from you? Spewing and ranting and raving and – - well, being testy.
I dunno, to me “testy” has always had a slightly negative connotation–irritable about petty shit. As opposed to say, the “savage indignation” of Swift.