November 14, 2005

• Don’t expect much.

  I’m exhausted, and that’s only part of it.  My immune system is
  berzerk, with body aches, swelling, stiffness, sore joints, sore
  throat, voice that croaks or squeaks.  When I kneel or bend over
  to tend the fire, I tend to stick in those positions when I try to get
  up.  Same old M.E. bullshit.  I get so sick and tired of
  being sick and tired.

  Doug had a scare today, when he noticed a blind spot, a blank area in
  his field of vision.  We talked about it, I tried to get him to
  articulate enough that I could diagnose it, but it wasn’t until he
  recoiled from the daylight as we took down plants to get to the window
  to winterize it, and then his headache started and he was sensitive to
  sound, that I realized it was migraine.   I talked him
  through the painswitch and a visualization to increase circulation in
  his brain, and that helped.

  He has had one severe migraine previously, when he was about nineteen,
  without the aura/visual precursor.  He doesn’t seem to get little
  ailments, seldom has colds or mild headaches.  When he does get
  sick, it’s like he has been poleaxed.

  We muddled through, got the last of our windows winterized, and he
  managed to bring in enough wood for the night before he went to bed to
  sleep off the migraine.  Learning what it was seems to have helped
  him deal with it.  He said before he went to bed that he had been
  trying to imagine what he’d do if he went blind.

  I got on here this evening because I felt like venting after a
  difficult day, and there’s no one I can call for that.  This may
  not be the best time to respond to questions, but what the hell. 
  Greyfox says that on my worst days I’m still better than most. 
  That’s probably just his NPD ingratiation, angling for a little
  narcissistic supply.  Nevertheless, even though I don’t believe
  it, I like to hear it. 

  Ren (mooncry) expressed curiosity about my parenting style or strategy with an ADHD son, and dingydarla expressed disapproval of my urban survival tactics.

  For Ren, the best I can say is that all kids are different, and what
  has worked with Doug was a combination of picking the really important
  battles and letting less important shit go.  As I have mentioned,
  safety rules were the only ones I stressed.  I told him that
  picking his nose or playing with his private parts in public was
  generally disapproved, but I never slapped his hand or tried to shame
  him about things like that.  We did talk a lot about the
  sociocultural reasoning behind certain taboos.  I always tried to
  let him know that what I wanted for him was whatever would be most
  fulfilling and satisfying for him.

  Greyfox’s response to dingydarla was sorta abrupt, and possibly a
  little bit defensive.  I’ve grown beyond defensiveness over my
  ethical philosophy.  I can, if necessary, debate it, support it,
  and explain it, but I don’t feel it needs to be defended.  I also
  don’t feel it’s my job to spoon feed philosophy to the uninformed or
  unenlightened.  I will say that by the time Doug was twelve years
  old, he had been thinking for himself long enough that even if he
  hadn’t had ADHD, or if he wasn’t a Leo born in the year of the Cock, I
  wouldn’t have been overly concerned about being a “bad” influence on
  him.  I considered a lot of the cultural taboo crap that he’d
  picked up in school to be negative influences.  Any deliberate
  attempts to influence him at all generally tend to fail.  It’s a
  combination of telepathic ability, extremely high IQ, and an
  independent mind and spirit.

  To those of you who’ve already read this, I apologize for the
  redundancy.  I don’t like repeating myself, but neither do I like
  leaving questions unanswered.  As many of you know, I even enjoy
  answering rhetorical questions.  In terms of my moral code or
  philosophy, I practice situational ethics.  The differences between Doug and me are easily expressed in terms of RPG alignments.  I’m chaotic good:

  Chaotic Good

  “Rebel”

  A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He is kind and benevolent, a strong individualist
  hostile to the claims of rules, regulations, and social order. He hates
  it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He
  will actively work to bring down unjust rulers and organizations and to
  liberate the oppressed. He finds lawful societies distasteful and will
  avoid them, often living as a nomad or hermit.

  Chaotic good combines a good heart with a free spirit.

  Examples of Chaotic Good characters are the folkloric Robin Hood, Han Solo and Batman.

  from http://en.wikipedia.org/

  Doug, on the other hand, is harder to
  pin down.  Some of his impulses are extraordinarily generous, and
  he often behaves in the “chaotic good” mode, but his character also
  contains a lot of chaotic neutral:

  Chaotic Neutral

  “Free Spirit”

  A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an
  individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but does not
  strive to protect others’ freedom. He avoids authority, resents
  restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character
  does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of
  anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a
  desire to liberate others), evil (and a desire to make others suffer),
  or be lawful neutral. A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable,
  but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off
  a bridge as to cross it.

  Chaotic neutral is freedom from both society’s restrictions and a do-gooder’s zeal.

  Examples of Chaotic Neutral characters are, Terra (comics), Janice Soprano and Howard Hughes.

  If that doesn’t answer your question, find somebody else to ask.
  

  • 9:35 pm
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