October 24, 2005

• One more week to Halloween…
  
  I think I’m kinda nuts to even get excited about this holiday, but I
  do.  This year, I don’t plan to go anywhere, and probably won’t
  even bother to dress up on the off chance of getting any
  trick-or-treaters to scare.  It would be pretty easy to get
  scary.  There’s the Darth Maul mask that Greyfox salvaged from the
  dumpster at Felony Flats, and I have the plain black hooded thingie I
  bought for a buck at the thrift shop just in case Doug would need a
  passably mediaeval-looking costume for that SCA tourney we decided not
  to go to this summer.  I could get scary-looking with very little
  effort, but I’d be unlikely to scare anybody, even if some kids do show
  up.  As Doug just pointed out, I could go the door as a headless
  zombie, and most kids these days would just go, “Cool.”

  
  Jack of the Lantern, version 2002

  We have lived here since 1998, and only on two of those Halloweens did
  anyone stop by here for treats.  In the fifteen years that we
  lived across the highway at Elvenhurst, the years that we weren’t out
  doing our own treat-begging I only remember once that anyone came to
  the house on Halloween.  It makes sense, because in this
  neighborhood people aren’t densely packed.  We used to drive
  around for a few hours and stop at maybe twenty houses, dashing up to
  the door and shivering until someone tossed a treat out and shut the
  door quickly to keep in the heat.  Then we’d scurry back to the
  car to get warm on the way to the next house.  The Halloween that
  Greyfox and I got married in Winchester, Virginia, fifteen years ago,
  Doug dressed up as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and we walked him a
  couple of blocks around town before returning to our motel room. 
  He was astounded at all the candy he got in such a short walk.

  
  Jack of the Lantern, version 2003

  It was never that easy or comfortable here, even though I put a lot of
  thought and effort into designing warm costumes for Doug.  I think
  the best one I came up with was the robot costume, all duct tape and
  aluminum foil over a base of long johns, regular warm clothes, and a
  snow suit.  We’ve never had a Halloween here when the temp was
  above freezing, and usually it’s single digits, either below or above
  zero.  The coldest one I remember here was minus fifteen
  degrees.  I was single that year, and had no vehicle of my
  own.  Doug and I rode around with a neighbor in the early evening,
  then I dropped him with his dad for the night and hitchhiked to Sheep
  Creek Lodge for the costume party.  I wore my peach and gold
  brocade Byzantine SCA gown, heavily veiled, and walked home in it after
  everyone at the lodge got so drunk I’d rather walk 3 miles at minus
  fifteen than ride with them.

  
  Jack of the Lantern, version 2004

  I won’t be doing anything like that this year.  I don’t even know
  if I’ll carve a jack o’lantern; don’t know yet whether Greyfox will
  bring us a pumpkin later this week when he comes up the valley. 
  Doug wants me to have Greyfox bring a bag of candy in case we get
  trick-or-treaters.  Yeah, right.  He wants the candy for
  himself and we all know that.  I don’t want it in the house
  because I might get one of those stupid addictive self-destructive
  urges and eat some myself.  I was considering making cookies or
  something, but they’d have to be gluten-free and sugar-free to be safe
  for me, and it is doubtful that any normal kid would enjoy eating
  them.  Doug and Greyfox won’t eat the stuff I bake for my
  diet.  My mind is made up.  I will pop a big pot of popcorn,
  add butter, salt, and Splenda and put some in sandwich bags for
  contingencies, and then eat the rest guiltlessly.  If no kids stop
  in and Doug doesn’t eat the bagged popcorn, I’ll have some snacks for a
  while.  In fact, a little pot of popcorn wouldn’t be a bad idea
  right now.
  

  • 10:16 pm
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