August 31, 2005
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Time Off
I don’t need to go to town tomorrow. I may not ever need to go in
to drive the rehab van again. I was planning to go, until Greyfox
told me he’d talked to some of the rehab clients at the farmer’s market
today and they said the ranch had discontinued the NA van for
lack of interest.I called the ranch. Nobody in authority was there, but the person
I talked to said that tomorrow the clients are going to the state fair,
and that the director had indeed announced that the NA van was being
cut because of lack of interest. Nobody gave a thought to telling
me and saving me that 100-mile round trip. They treat their
volunteers like crap.Some weeks I take as many as 12 people to the meeting, other weeks I
take only 3 or 4. Often, it depends on factors such as the
weather or how hard people have been working in the potato field or the
greenhouse or the pig barn. Sometimes they’re too exhausted to go
to a meeting. The admin is AA-biased and seem to look for excuses
to cut out the once-weekly NA meeting.That bothers me some, because some of those clients are poly-addicted
and can use NA. There’s an attitude common to many in AA that as
long as you aren’t drinking you’re all right. I see people
obviously cranked up or downed out at AA meetings, and occasionally we
smell marijuana smoke drifting in from the group around the back door.I knew when I volunteered for that job that the ranch ran a flawed
program, and I was hoping to be able to plug a few leaks on a
one-to-one basis. I did what I could. Now, I’ve got more
time and energy to spare for my life and my work. I can use it.I will still need to make occasional trips to town for supplies.
I want to see Greyfox once in a while, too. It has been months
since I was in there on a Sunday when I could go to a Double Trouble in
Recovery meeting. That’s my favorite 12-step program, for people
who are both addicts andinsane
have mental illness and or are taking
psychiatric medications. It is the least pretentious and least
cultlike program I’ve experienced. We do a lot of cross-talk, as
opposed to the serial monologues you hear at AA — it’s more like a
therapy group, more like what I like. Maybe I’ll go this Sunday.
I had a difficult time settling down and focusing on my work today. I was doing a reading for screaminginmyhead
and every time I put on the headphones and opened the psychic channels
I was flooded with angst and distress from Katrina’s victims. I
know I’m not alone in that. Lots of empathic people are picking
up on it. It’s hard not to.Weeks before the water is pumped out of New Orleans after they rebuild
the levees, and months before public utilities are all back
online. Years before some things are rebuilt, and others are
beyond recovery. Contaminated water supplies, tombs awash,
corpses both fresh and ancient floating around, well-armed looters and
nervous National Guard troops — New Orleans is not a great place to be
right now.I surfed around in the NOLA metro today, and found several people talking about not going back after the all-
clear is given, just as I predicted.
Comments (8)
I’ve been hearing them all day
To be a mother who’s child is seriously dehydrated and have no way to keep that child alive but to wait on help from strangers that is just to slow in coming. That has been a common feeling for me today. It does not feel good. I want to block them, but it feels morally worng to do that. Like I need to help share this burden in even this small way. So I am. Can’t meditate at all though. But tis okay.
It’s history — it’s devistation unlike our lives have seen — due to mother nature. Why is she so pissed off Kathy?
i should hit an na meeting one of these days. but they are the same time as the aa meetings i go to, and i like to see the same people on a regular basis. i feel more accountable to them than i would to a bunch of random faces.
our groups always start out monologue style, but then end up as laid-back roundtables.
Ah, mental health. Tis a field my beloved and I both work in, as well. We’re counselors working with at-risk kids and adolescents.
The hospital is being weird, and trying to push the appointment back until the 15th of this month, so I’ll be on the phone today battling for an appointment much sooner, as opposed to taking her in to get the work done.
We trust that things will work out.
I’m struggling with Katrina-related feelings, too.
That’s pretty rude, to not tell you about the change… I wonder if it was really a lack of interest, or if the person in charge just didn’t want to do it anymore.
I’m having a lot of Katrina-related anxiety, too… Gotta cleanse that empath bracelet and put it back on.
It would surprise the hell out of me if people spent a year in some other place while New Orleans was put back together, only to return and start all over again. It just doesn’t make sense, ya know? Your home, belongings, and jobs are gone, your family is already displaced, so why not just pick a new spot and start over again right away? That’s what I’d do… Especially since I’d be unlikely to want to return to living in a city below sea level after all that, and during a period where hurricanes are getting uglier and more frequent.
Hell, as sad as I am about never seeing New Orleans, it doesn’t make much sense to rebuild it in that same spot. Nature wanted it back, so she took it back.
I’m having a rough week too… Katrina is challenging all of us on different levels it seems. I wish there was something I could do to help… I suppose that sending healing energy and digging into pockets is all that I can do… just as I did for the Tsunami.
That’s a real shame about the rehab van for NA meetings. In my experience, they are NOT the same as AA meetings for exactly the reason you stated, that many in AA are there simply because they can quit drinking and be considered sober while still indulging in other narcotics. I’m happy with my decision to focus on NA meetings with the occasional daytime AA meeting when I feel the need. Love to You
Hi sweety–yeah, weather DOES look nice, but I can use the day off, and already started one project to make the cabin moreliveable–consolidating all the stuff for you into one box which will go under the bed–so we can forget EVERYTHING in one swell foop!
Critter news-it has been two days since I have seen Hohner or Silky–maybe they ran off together–or went to cat heaven to look up Fancy! And the porcelin rabbit is gone, again. Rounded up the usual suspect (Mike’s obnoxious three year old) but no dice. No bunny, either.)
Re Katrina–yeah, if folks were logical, they would re-locate–but people keep making the same mistakes over and over. Thank god I am empathy-free!