August 25, 2005
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Uhhh… what day is it?
Oh, yeah, Thursday. Last Thursday, I went to Wasilla, so I don’t
have to do that again until next Thursday. Today, though, I need
to go to Willow. The library has a book I requested that’s
supposed to help me over the last hurdles toward mastery of CSS,
and the post office is in possession of the VisiBone book I ordered
with all the colors and tags and goodies I’ll ever need, until W3C
changes the rules again. XHTML, here I come! Now, do I go
“strict” or “transitional”?Greyfox reminded me that the best is the enemy of the good. He
reminds me of that frequently, just can’t accept that I have this Virgo
handicap and MUST do the best I can, unless of course I can’t.Speaking of “can’t,” yesterday Doug and I worked an hour or two in the
little storage cabin, cleaning and rearranging so I can get more of the
clutter out of here. Finally, on the third try at that job, I can
see some results. But, still the clutter remains in here. I
crashed again, into the damned ME/CFIDS wall. I could barely move
yesterday afternoon, for the stiffness and incoordination, not to
mention the goddamn pain.But that was then and this is now. Now, my head is stuffed with
fluff and surrounded in fog. Driving to town is a priority, and
in my present condition probably a foolhardy act. This morning
I’m not quite as depressed over my disability as I was yesterday.
It’s hell not being able to do what I have to do: I HAVE
TO! But I CAN’T! I just can’t, but I MUST!.
Shit!Yesterday, briefly, I was feeling suicidal, but that passed. I
talked myself out of it. I may not be able to do much, but there
is still so much to SEE, to experience and find out about. And
the world’s not as crazy as it seemed to be just recently. Recent
polls show that FINALLY a majority of Americans understand that the
Iraq war was a mistake. Now there’s
something to celebrate. I wonder how many in the west wing
understand that — probably a lot more than would admit it out loud.I’m gonna finish my coffee, get into my stash of ephedra, and after
that if I feel capable, I’ll head on down the valley to Willow.
When I get back, if Doug will relinquish the comp, I’ll get back to
work on AuWay.org. It’ll feel so GOOD, if I can just get one page
up as a start. But which page to start with? Aaaargh!
Oh, to be a decisive Libra or Gemini, instead of such an air-headed
Virgo!
Comments (12)
Glad you talked yourself out of it. There is, indeed, so much to see. I give myself the same speech occasionally when my chonic pain is at its highest …………
Moi? Decisive? Surely you jest!
Geminis are decisive? Yeah, I suppose I am, I just end up trying lots of different options. *chuckle*
I hope you are feeling better soon Kathy. I know those autoimmune flare ups can be a real bitch. I also know about making choices and their consequences, especially where autoimmune disease is concerned.
I do that occassionally too. Prolly bi-monthly for about 5 to 10 minutes I think it might be better to leave.
But then I think Fuck that! I’d prolly only succeed in paralyzing myself. And that would suck worse than this, so maybe this isnt’ so terrible. lol
Later hun. *hugs*
You could be a head-in-the-clouds Aquarian.
At least I have an excuse to be an eccentric nut.
Thank heavens you talked yourself out of it.
We’d be lost without you.
Is there anyone who can drive you to town?
I worry about you when you’re hurting.
I hate it when your DD hits you so hard….sigh…. I’m glad you got through yesterday in one piece
crashing – it sucks…the brain fog is the worst
Heh. I have the Sun and four other planets in Libra, and I can’t decide shit….
maahahahaa…now you see, had i read this (even before your disclaimer above), i’d've seen the tongue in your cheek.
decisive geminis indeed. pffff.
blue. no no…i want red. no wait. i’ll get these.
two days later. shit. i wish i’d gotten the pink. (why i have two pair of Croc shoes…butter yellow and light pink.) eeny meanie means nothing to me because…? i’ll change my mind anyway.
i couldn’t imagine you, no matter how frustrated or how much pain, choosing suicide as a way out. as you said, you have too much of a curious mind to bow out yet. i look at my dad, all but blind from retinal myopathy and all but deaf. constant pain in his feet. yet he perserveres because there’s still, even at age 86, things he wants to see and learn and do. (taurus by the way) (no bull)
At least you’re not a Capricorn! then you’d really be in trouble…
I’ve been reading a lot (and been doing) a Candida detox diet lately. I wonder if such a thing would help you…have you heard anything about this? there’s some info about it at http://www.curezone.com.
I’m glad you talked yourself out of it!
And how could people have NOT gotten that the Libra/Gemini bit was tongue in cheek? *lol*