October 13, 2003

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  DENALI

  
  

  AKA Mount McKinley, AKA the weathermaker, our mountain.  For as long as I have lived here, each time I catch sight of the mountain, I catch my breath.  It was that way with Mount Fuji, Shasta, Rainier… the other sacred mountains within sight of which I have lived.  I’m only really within sight of this one when I get up high above the trees or out in the road or to the south of a lake or open space that lets me see him.  I used to be able to see Rainier from my kitchen window, but I wasn’t in such a happy place then….

  
  

  Seeing Denali makes me happy.  Every trip to town, as soon as I get about 9 miles or so this side of Wasilla and crest that one hill that brings me into view of Denali, it makes whatever hassles or worries I had on my mind go away.  There have been times when it was cloudy and rainy where I was, and I’d reach the top of that hill, and there ahead of me would be the edge of the cloud cover, and beyond it the snow-topped mountain shining in the sun.  The mountain is special to me, and I know from many conversations and chance remarks that Doug and Greyfox feel the same exultation when they look at it

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  This is why what Greyfox said to me a little while ago means so much.  He was here at the keyboard, and I was nearby, warming myself by the woodstove.  I was feeling well, feeling GOOD, and said so.  Yesterday got a whole lot better for me when I took the bitter pill (ephedrine) and dried up some of the excess mucus, took down the swelling in my head.  Today I’m into my third pill:  that’s about one every twelve hours, and that many strong drugs in a row is pretty rare for me these days.  There will be one more before I head toward town tonight, and then tomorrow it’s cold turkey and cope with the rebound, in the hope that the whole episode will have passed before I have to go to town later in the week.  But I digress….

  
  

  I spoke to my soulmate not in terms of improved physical functioning.  That wasn’t really what was on my mind at the time.  He had said something clever, read me something cute he found on a forum, and his laugh got to me as it sometimes does.  I said, “I love you,” and went on to tell him how sometimes his smile or his laugh does funny things to my insides.

  
  

  He said, “I know what you mean.”  Then he went on to say that sometimes when he looks at me [and here, he hesitated and his eyes got misty], “I get the same feeling I get when…” [and he hesitated with a faraway look in his eyes] “…I look at Denali.”

  
  

  WOW!

  
  

  He went on to explain that, of course, I’m not that big…  And we laughed a bit, both of us with tears in our eyes.  It’s a crazy, up and down and round and round relationship, but it does have its moments, in case any of you ever wondered why we’re still together.  Love is wonderful.  Just wanted to share that….

  
  

  

  • 5:16 pm
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