September 1, 2003

• Found the problem…

  
  

  I figured out how to deal with my problem on the new website.  The file was in a folder.  Once I removed the folder, everything worked.  Now I can get down to the real work of building the site.  So much to learn and such a pathetic bunch of semi-geriatric brain cells to do it with!

  
  

  BTW, dears, thanks for the concern.  Just for the record, because I think I may have omitted a few details that made the story obscure or misleading:

  
  

  Doug is my son.

  
  

  He did not make me cry.  I cried.  That was from frustration, just as his yelling at me was.  I sorta bristle at the mere idea that anyone could MAKE me cry… or make me mad, make me screw up, etc.  I take responsibility for my feelings and my actions.

  
  

  ---

  When I left here for town yesterday, the trip was a day earlier than planned, so that I could take Greyfox some stock for the stand, a few kinds of knives he’d sold out of.  The trip back home this morning was two days earlier than planned.  I woke today with a strong desire to get home and work.  There is so much to do here that suddenly I hated the thought of killing time around Greyfox’s cabin all day waiting for a meeting tonight, and then doing the same thing tomorrow while he works.  Those meetings may well be necessities for him, but they are just valued luxuries to me.

  
  

  He was sad that I was going, but also understanding.  We discussed this emotional dependency, which is not exactly healthy but healthier than his resentments when he was still drinking.  He took note of the fact that his initial flash reaction when I said I felt I should go home today was quite different from what it would have been a few months ago.  He would have taken a narcissistic injury at my “abandonment” and used the resentment to fuel a binge.  I feel relieved at his change in attitude and extremely gratified that we can now talk about all these feelings openly without his becoming resentful.

  
  

  Now, since I’m here, I need to get to work.

  
  

  

  • 8:10 pm
  • 2 Comments