June 3, 2002
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I’m not a sexist. I grew up programmed to the male-superiority myth and my mental pendulum swung in the ‘sixties all the way over to radical feminism. Gradually the pendulum has settled in the middle as I have grown in my appreciation for both genders. By that I mean that philosophically I don’t favor, advocate or tolerate on my turf any discrimination based on sex.
I am however decidedly feminine in much of my philosophy and behavior. I have a hard time, for example, with the masculine bias in this culture shown by the tendency to define people by what they do, instead of what they are. I’m a crone, dammit! And I think it much more likely for someone to define herself as a girl, woman, mother or crone, than it is for one to define himself as a boy, man, father, or old coot, old fart or codger. Even if he does, he’s likely to tack on something else, such as brain surgeon, plumber or girl-watcher.
Is it because guys tend to specialize more than we do? Ok, so he has a job, and maybe a hobby, so that’s two things he “is”. The list of my jobs and hobbies is too long to run through every time someone wants to know what I do. I think that any man who diversified his activities as much as an average woman does would be called a “Renaissance Man”.
I think this has been going on for a long time. The men used to go out hunting big game in a pack or alone to get small game. When they got back they either made tools and weapons or sat around farting, scratching and commenting on what the women were doing. The women either minded the kids and kept the fire burning while they cured and sewed skins, winnowed grain, wove baskets, etc., or they went out and picked fruit, gathered herbs, turned over logs to find grubs, planted seeds or tended crops and the like.
These musings were only a small part of my thoughts about the cultural differences between the genders as I photographed a neighborhood wedding last weekend. The pictures I took and some commentary on my anthropological observations can be found at
my photo gallery page.
Comments (6)
In raising my grandson I decided when he was a tiny baby that, this boy would grow up knowing how to care for his needs…and yes that includes the culturally based things such as cooking, laundry, sewing, cleaning, shopping, etc. Where has it ever been written that only women do that? I have always disagreed with how we as a society have formed ideas that are to be inforced as a womans work or a mans job. Those old thought patterns are changing…but what a slow crawl it has been for us heh? I’d like to think that those of us who call ourselves crones have had a gentle hand in helping to change the way our maidens and middle women think. For through our teachings they can help mold their boys to become men in a more cuturally balanced society.
Two-thirds of Xangans are female. The one-third who aren’t? Renaissance men! LOL
My son can do his own laundry and cook, but still he can’t talk about stuff unless he’s doing something else too like shooting hoops, he’s still reluctant to talk in the first place, and prefers packs of young men to the company of his mother… go figure!
Oh … I am unhappy at the moment because your pics on the link aren’t downloading. The top half of the first pic shows, I see some green (oh I love that GREEN!) and what appears to be a log cabin of some sort …
And that’s it.
O wait … somethings happening.
Eh … it’s just taking it’s sweet time. It seems that the first pic is coming through … hey! Looks like a Big Sur Wedding …
And I get half of the second picture on the left. The rest of the pics have little wee *x*’s in them. Maybe it’s just me stupid super slow connection?
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I’d like to find a Renaissance Man … who isn’t as neurotic as most of the women I know. If I could find a man, who had all the qualities I adore, and could make me a happy woman in bed …
Whoa. Joy.
Alas … it is not to happen. Those men are gay, and furthermore I am married. I know, I know … the married detail never mattered before, but I’ve been thinking lately all that hunting for Mr. Perfect has only brought me pain. And it pisses my kids off.
If I could find a man, who would be willing to just … you know … hang out once in awhile and ignore Joe (the way I do …) I’d let Joe have his little surfer girls too.
Wait, I already do …
Oh my. I need to rethink my strategy here …
Humph.
We are all human…I agree that perhaps some males define themselves more by what they do, and for those of us women who work in male dominated professions, it’s easy to get dragged into that same trap…
SuSu, Thank you for your encouragement at my blog. I have moments and they are happening more often when it comes to my family not to give a crap what they think of me. Usally, it’s because I won’t give them what they want. But, it hurts when people judge you without knowing all the facts.
Anyway, about men, I think that is imprented in their DNA to do that. It’s to impress the women that they are good providers so that they can get (a) laid (b) relationship (c) married (d) money or (e) all of the above. And from what I’ve seen it’s in women’s DNA to be impressed with it.